Go Lovely, Go

Go- Avalanche City

There's so many things on my mind that it makes it really hard to categorize and blog about them. It's chaos and utter confusion that under all that, I'm surprised I can actually get out of bed and pretend nothing's wrong and all without snapping anyone's head off.

Recently I lost someone I loved and while it all felt so sudden, I will be fine. 

The year will come to an end, and a new beginning awaits. And whenever I feel sad, I know that I can fall asleep at night, the sun will rise again and new day will begin. As usual, the lack of new year's resolutions scares me a little but I have survived without them for quite some time so maybe I'll be fine. But hey, 2013 is a whole year long. One can always add them along the way (: 

So here's a toast to 2013- that we'll be okay no matter what happens. 

Signing out, 
purple-monsters

It Won't Be Long Before I Rise

I Got- Young The Giant

This year, Christmas will be at an all time low. And by that I mean there is no shopping for anyone this Christmas. 

Why? 

#1. I don't have money for anyone but me. It sounds selfish but I really need to get new clothes for my semester in uni. There is no place for jeans and a tee like last time but "proper grown up clothes" or "formal" if you will. 

#2. I've spent exactly RM1500 for my rent deposit for the new room in Bukit Jalil. So no gifts for you. 

#3. I want (or need.. I'm still not sure on that bit yet) an armchair in my room. It's for my reading. And because there's an armchair, I will need a reading lamp. Voila, no money for presents. 

#4. I need (yes, this is a need) a new phone. Recently my phone decided to die on me. I guess I wouldn't call it 'die'.. Just gave me a heart attack when it crashed and things went missing, messages couldn't be received. Basically, the poor thing couldn't handle my heavy usage. You might say, "Just delete a few things and it will be grand." Ohoho... I had to reset the entire thing back to factory settings and then discovered a text sent almost a week back that my ex-colleague wanted to kill herself by slitting her wrists. Imagine how guilty I felt that I didn't receive that text immediately and contacted her or done something. But long story cut short, she didn't do it. phew. 

#5. Books. Uncle JPA is not giving us money anytime soon so hello my almost-empty-bank-account. 

Just so you know, if you like to give me presents this Christmas, I'd appreciate something for my room. If not, cash is just fine :3 

Signing out, 
parsnip-horror

Might I Say, A Beautiful Tie You Wear

Dreaming Out Loud- One Republic

I am not joking when I say this song has very awesome words. *srsface* And of course it's an old song. I've been going through my old playlist and rediscovered this gem. 

Just so you (my dear readers) know, I am not okay. A lot has happened to me and it has affected me emotionally but you know me, I am the best when it comes to hiding what I truly feel and what I project outwards. Only this time I am admitting this on the blogosphere and even though I don't know why, I am strangely comfortable in doing so. 

And now I am randomly craving anything banana flavored. I may never truly understand myself.teehee. 

Signing out, 
gecko-spots

Come Back And Sing To Me

In My Place- Coldplay

Yeah, it's an old song. Sue me for being nostalgic, why doncha? 

It's been about 2 weeks of holidaying for me and I am bored out of my skull. To be entirely  honest, the reason would be because I'm too lazy to go out and I have no cash to spend at the moment. After paying the 2-month deposit and half month utility bill, I don't have much to spend until I get my next paycheck. If you must know, I have no received my pay for the month of November. But please, no further questions on that. 

In fact, there are so many questions posed which although I can answer, it really is no point to do so. Mostly because the more I justify myself, people can never understand why I do what I do. It's exhausting having to deal with adults who mean well and genuinely care for my well-being (for example) but I don't need to be judged in everything I do. About my paycheck, I'm waiting until the 15th because I don't want to sound like a total shitface and demand my pay instantly especially since I know that the project is currently in Penang and my boss is spearheading it there. About the room, I already promised I'll take the middle room and I won't pull back and decide something else especially since my housemate has not seen the place. 

I just don't want to make decisions without consulting other people. Yea, some may say be assertive and be a bit selfish for your own comfort. Just so you know, dear readers, there's nothing wrong with the middle room or the small one. Just minor adjustments in number of occupants (which I have yet to tell my parents about. In due time, my lovelies). Basically I prefer to deal with things face-to-face. That way I can lookout for non-verbal ques and suggest alternatives, if that's the case. But for now, we'll just let it go. 

I am obviously ranting now. The life of a hermit- without companions of my age- is getting to me and for some reason, I'm also feeling a sense of resentment. This person is one heck of a complicated mess. Well, I guess it is time for me to take time and to ponder on these feelings. 

Signing out, 

pizza-dough