Go Lovely, Go

Go- Avalanche City

There's so many things on my mind that it makes it really hard to categorize and blog about them. It's chaos and utter confusion that under all that, I'm surprised I can actually get out of bed and pretend nothing's wrong and all without snapping anyone's head off.

Recently I lost someone I loved and while it all felt so sudden, I will be fine. 

The year will come to an end, and a new beginning awaits. And whenever I feel sad, I know that I can fall asleep at night, the sun will rise again and new day will begin. As usual, the lack of new year's resolutions scares me a little but I have survived without them for quite some time so maybe I'll be fine. But hey, 2013 is a whole year long. One can always add them along the way (: 

So here's a toast to 2013- that we'll be okay no matter what happens. 

Signing out, 
purple-monsters

It Won't Be Long Before I Rise

I Got- Young The Giant

This year, Christmas will be at an all time low. And by that I mean there is no shopping for anyone this Christmas. 

Why? 

#1. I don't have money for anyone but me. It sounds selfish but I really need to get new clothes for my semester in uni. There is no place for jeans and a tee like last time but "proper grown up clothes" or "formal" if you will. 

#2. I've spent exactly RM1500 for my rent deposit for the new room in Bukit Jalil. So no gifts for you. 

#3. I want (or need.. I'm still not sure on that bit yet) an armchair in my room. It's for my reading. And because there's an armchair, I will need a reading lamp. Voila, no money for presents. 

#4. I need (yes, this is a need) a new phone. Recently my phone decided to die on me. I guess I wouldn't call it 'die'.. Just gave me a heart attack when it crashed and things went missing, messages couldn't be received. Basically, the poor thing couldn't handle my heavy usage. You might say, "Just delete a few things and it will be grand." Ohoho... I had to reset the entire thing back to factory settings and then discovered a text sent almost a week back that my ex-colleague wanted to kill herself by slitting her wrists. Imagine how guilty I felt that I didn't receive that text immediately and contacted her or done something. But long story cut short, she didn't do it. phew. 

#5. Books. Uncle JPA is not giving us money anytime soon so hello my almost-empty-bank-account. 

Just so you know, if you like to give me presents this Christmas, I'd appreciate something for my room. If not, cash is just fine :3 

Signing out, 
parsnip-horror

Might I Say, A Beautiful Tie You Wear

Dreaming Out Loud- One Republic

I am not joking when I say this song has very awesome words. *srsface* And of course it's an old song. I've been going through my old playlist and rediscovered this gem. 

Just so you (my dear readers) know, I am not okay. A lot has happened to me and it has affected me emotionally but you know me, I am the best when it comes to hiding what I truly feel and what I project outwards. Only this time I am admitting this on the blogosphere and even though I don't know why, I am strangely comfortable in doing so. 

And now I am randomly craving anything banana flavored. I may never truly understand myself.teehee. 

Signing out, 
gecko-spots

Come Back And Sing To Me

In My Place- Coldplay

Yeah, it's an old song. Sue me for being nostalgic, why doncha? 

It's been about 2 weeks of holidaying for me and I am bored out of my skull. To be entirely  honest, the reason would be because I'm too lazy to go out and I have no cash to spend at the moment. After paying the 2-month deposit and half month utility bill, I don't have much to spend until I get my next paycheck. If you must know, I have no received my pay for the month of November. But please, no further questions on that. 

In fact, there are so many questions posed which although I can answer, it really is no point to do so. Mostly because the more I justify myself, people can never understand why I do what I do. It's exhausting having to deal with adults who mean well and genuinely care for my well-being (for example) but I don't need to be judged in everything I do. About my paycheck, I'm waiting until the 15th because I don't want to sound like a total shitface and demand my pay instantly especially since I know that the project is currently in Penang and my boss is spearheading it there. About the room, I already promised I'll take the middle room and I won't pull back and decide something else especially since my housemate has not seen the place. 

I just don't want to make decisions without consulting other people. Yea, some may say be assertive and be a bit selfish for your own comfort. Just so you know, dear readers, there's nothing wrong with the middle room or the small one. Just minor adjustments in number of occupants (which I have yet to tell my parents about. In due time, my lovelies). Basically I prefer to deal with things face-to-face. That way I can lookout for non-verbal ques and suggest alternatives, if that's the case. But for now, we'll just let it go. 

I am obviously ranting now. The life of a hermit- without companions of my age- is getting to me and for some reason, I'm also feeling a sense of resentment. This person is one heck of a complicated mess. Well, I guess it is time for me to take time and to ponder on these feelings. 

Signing out, 

pizza-dough

I Want To Shelter You

Demons- Imagine Dragons

The song chosen for the title of this blog post is exceptionally good. Do listen to it if you have the time and listen to the lyrics. I'm serious. 

So, my week back in Kuching has come to an end. I am supposed to pack for the trip back but I'm far too lazy. Besides, I didn't even bring much here so I don't even have much to pack anyway. Spending time here was great especially since I get to relax and unwind at home. There is no greater joy than sleeping in your own bed, raiding your own fridge and sitting inappropriately in your own home. Yes, I have very bad sitting habits when I'm home alone. Deal with it. 

Recently I have lost my touch for writing. I can't seem to write fiction anymore. It's like the part of my brain responsible for fiction (and bullcrap) is rusty. What it needs is perhaps a little inspiration and the right mood- two things I don't have now. Besides, I have been listening to the same two songs over and over again so forgive me if I stop writing fiction altogether. Although that is quite unlikely because I will get back my mojo. Eventually. I hope. 

OH! And I totally forgot to mention, my dear readers, I am done with working! All the travelling and stress and shizz, GONE! Like I say time and time again, it wasn't about the coworkers or about the job itself. In fact, the opportunity to work in a professional environment, meeting CEOs, managers, country heads and such was really exciting. Those were the highlights of my days. 

So now that that's all behind me, it's time to look to the future and finally (FINALLY) prepare myself for uni. After 6 months of break and completely ignoring my books, it will soon be time to settle down and be a student once again. And did I mention we finally got a place to stay? Gosh, finally, things are looking up! 

Signing out, 
electric-blue

PS: The second song I've been listening to other than Demons is I Got by Young The Giant. Check it out ;) 

Just Let Me Go, We'll Meet Again Soon

Little Talks- Of Monsters and Men 

The day starts with dad opening a 3-pack Colgate toothbrush packet and then unceremoniously tossing his and my 3-month old toothbrush into the bin. 

"What colour do you want?", he says while dangling the packet in front of a very sleepy Abigail nursing a warm glass of milk. 

"Anything. I don't mind." 

But he insists that I choose a colour and so I went with green. 

"Oh good! Cos I want the pink one." 

And so dad sails of into the sunset with his pink toothbrush, humming a tune which I think sounded vaguely like an Elvis song. 

It's going to be a good day today. 

Signing out, 
garden-snails

And You Fill My Head With You

Bloom- The Paper Kites

I blinked and suddenly it's November. Now all I'm really worried about is getting accommodation for IMU next year. It's not easy since we're trying to get a whole unit and people seem to be turning away students. Like as if single, working adults are any better. At any rate, students have to study and young adults have money to blow. Obviously the young adult would make a bigger mess, if that's what they're worried about. 

But honestly, why are they worried? Have they heard all these horror stories from other landlords where they got their house returned in a bad condition just because the tenants were students? Oh please. Haven't they heard of isolated cases? Does one bad apple make the whole basket of apples bad too? 

I've met students who are clean-freaks. They go absolutely mental when they see soap scum in the bathroom and dust on the table. I've met adults who are absolute pigs at home. So why are they discriminating against us students? 

Are the landlords hoping a family would move into their houses? Oh please. They would be absolute idiots if they think a proper family would live there. The area is not nearby any schools (unless they're super old cos the said parents have kids going to the UNIVERSITY ACROSS THE ROAD!) and the nearest work place would be TPM- home to singles who practically work there 24/7 because that's what they do. 

I kid you not. That area of Bukit Jalil is just filled with young people- working or studying. Besides, the current landlords bought that place thinking it was a good investment since it housed the athletes during the Commonwealth Games and then prices plummeted because it was a dead town. And now they want families to stay there? They have to be out of their blooming minds. They can, however, make loads of money if they would just be less uptight and rent the places out to students. It's not like rent is cheap there anyway. 

So instead of walking around like there's a broomstick up your arse, lighten up and.. oh wait. Hang on. I've suddenly reverted to ranting about something (or more like someone else). Do forgive me (: 

Now to continue grumbling about the economy and the plight of my friends and I in the safety of my own mind. 

Signing out, 

frosted-flakes

Let Me Fly You To The Moon

If I Had A Gun- Noel Gallager 

Alternate title Excuse me, your hipster is showing. 

If you've already noticed, I usually title my blog posts with random sentences from any song I listen to on replay. In other words, it's my seasonal song. I would ask you to take time out, Google the song since I've provided the song title and the singer, play it while reading each post. I suppose it would make more sense. Also, it would expose you to music that I like. And perhaps that would give you an idea of what kind of person I am and hence make Christmas shopping for my presents much easier *teehee* 

Anyway, time flies so fast and it's already almost the end of October. Pretty soon we'll be welcoming November in all it's splendor. For some of my readers (you know who you are), you'll be experiencing winter, daylight savings and other natural oddities which are foreign to us Asians born and bred in sunny Malaysia. In cases like this, I have nothing to say but godspeed and may the force be with you. 

So I've received my salary for the first half month of September when I started working and all I can say is even half a month's income can make me feel rich :3 Mostly because every single sen belongs to me since I have no bills to pay and nothing to worry about. Because of that mentality, I have spent RM200 shopping at the Cotton On online store and another RM100 in The Body Shop. And I have no regrets! *insert-evil-laugh-here* I will receive my salary for October soon and one thing's for sure, I will buy something major. I'm still deciding what I should get but until I come to a conclusion, I won't reveal it here. So stay tuned! 

Until next time, my lovelies! 

Signing out, 
kismet-chaos 

Some Nights I Call It A Draw

Some Nights- Fun

The thing about being a female driver is that people start judging you the moment they see you hit the unlock button on your car keys and open your car door. Immediately people (especially men, for obvious reasons) start observing you a little closer. 

If it's because they're appreciating your beauty, it's not so bad. But you can be sure that every single one just goes "Let's see how she drives" and "Wow, that would explain the horrible parking." 

I'm not saying that I'm an amazing driver and heck, I can't park well. In fact, I once asked a random guy parked beside me to help me park my car. But in my defense, it was my first time driving alone to work and the lot was really weird. It was slightly raised that the end. But I did it on my own anyway as the guy guided me into that spot. 

During my week driving my dad's car, the only mistakes I made was taking the wrong lane at the toll booth and misjudging my distance to get the parking ticket from the machine. Other than that, the Federal Highway is an absolute nightmare at 7am and 5-8pm. 

Basically the thing about Indian parents (and this mostly happens to girls) is that they will pamper you so much until you end up having to rely on other people to get things done. My dad suggested (numerous times, I might add) that I ask my cousin for help to send me to work, or switch cars with my cousin for a smaller car so it's easier to maneuver. Perseverance and constantly ignoring his ideas got me the confidence I needed to be on the road as well as the courage to use a sedan. 

Now I'm just going to be a hermit and not go out for about a week cos I'm so very broke. Until next time :) 

Signing out, 
satin-bands

I'll Be On My Way

Too Close- Alex Clare

Sometimes I forget that there are people who care about me. 

Sometimes I try to fight and put the weight of the world on my shoulders. 

Sometimes the hurt is just too much to bear that you feel your heart constrict with every breath you take.

After all this, the beauty is that I know there's always someone who will come along and ask the right questions. And for that, I thank you. Thank you for saving me. 

Signing out, 
blind-bandit

Promise I'm Worthy To Hold In Your Arms

One And Only- Adele 

I would blog about work. But I won't. 

I would blog about how tired I am. But I won't. 

I would blog about my frustrations and disappointments. But I won't. 

On a brighter note, Merlin, Glee and Modern Family's back and it won't be long for Gossip Girl too. I have something to occupy my weekends :) 

T-minus 40 days and counting.

Signing out, 
raccoon-eyes

Just Hold A Smile

Never Say Never- The Fray 

I know that if I do blog this week, it will be about work. I have to say it's both fun and exhilarating but at the same time, physically demanding. It's fun because I get to interact with people so in a way, I'm working on my people-skills. The only thing physically demanding about this job is that I have to travel to the heart of KL by train. 

And yes, I really mean the heart of KL. I'm currently working in Menara Standard Chartered right beside Pavilion. I look out the window and I can see KLCC partially hidden behind Crowne Plaza. But all the hustle and bustle to get on the Monorail after work is just a nightmare. 

I look at everyone else- all working class people- with glassy-eyes, staring out of the window. Most of them with earphones in possibly escaping the harsh reality while pretending to be in a music video. I know I do that especially when I'm on the way back to Klang and the train's quite empty and the song playing is I Never Told You by Colbie Caillat. It's an exceptionally emotional song- very apt for a train ride back home. 

Perhaps I should start a countdown to when I will stop working.

T-minus 50 days and counting.

Signing out, 
whatever-you-want

Want Back My Ignorance And Bliss

Blow Me (One Last Kiss) - P!nk 

I've left this blog for quite some time mostly because I have what's known as writer's block. It's not that I have nothing to talk about but just lack the method of expressing myself. The worse is when there's too many different emotions just piling up at the back of my brain as I choose to ignore them. 

So what's new? I'm back in the Peninsula- Klang to be precise and I start work on Tuesday- only because Monday is a holiday. However, I'm going down to the office on Saturday to meet my employer and familiarise myself with the place. 

It will definitely be a new adventure but I have mixed feelings about it. Mostly because I've never actually had a proper job before and I have to commute all the way from Klang to the heart of KL where I'll be working. Not really a bed of roses, if you ask me. I guess it's the things we do and the sacrifices we make just so we can survive in the metropolis. 

Perhaps my next post would be about my new job and hopefully how much I'm enjoying it. Wish me luck :) 

Signing out, 
goodbye-stranger

You'll Always Be A Part Of Me

Always Be My Baby- Mariah Carey 

Remember when I was always fussing about my results? Well, I got it recently. Not that recent actually. More like 10 days ago but who's counting? :D So now that I've just applied to IMU and awaiting the letter from them, I shall continue my eat and sleep pattern I have adopted and quite enjoy. 

But daddy has other plans. I assume it's cos he's bored being alone in KL that he decided to ship me back to KL and he also found a job for me there. Which is why I'm leaving Kuching on the 10th  of September and will probably be in KL until the end of the year and then my term in uni (if everything goes according to plan) will begin in January. 

My friends are leaving soon to begin their lives in different parts of the world and it breaks my heart that I won't be able to see all of them off. Perhaps I could just sit in a corner and cry my eyes out while we whisper our goodbyes over the phone. 

So to all my darlings going off to new and exciting places, I will miss you and I'm sorry I can't send you off but promise me that you'll call before you leave. Make me proud okay? I love you. 

Signing out, 
cheese-sticks

Turpentine Erase Me Whole

Honey Bee- Steam Powered Giraffe

Dear friend, 

I have watched you doubt yourself but tonight I'm here to tell you that you don't have to face this alone. 

I'm here to tell you that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship because in the best love stories, the characters don't fit perfectly- of two people that would seemingly never belong. A relationship where you would complement each other when you're happy but breakdown in desperate situations. 

You say that your affair is healthy but not always, balanced but not always, happy but not always. I'm here to tell you that all relationships are like that. Whether with passion or lack thereof, heat and coldness and love and hate. The way you push and pull at each other then come together and fall apart. Your personalities may match or mismatch but it's okay.

My dear, you get to write your own story with your own adventures. This story may seem to end but let me tell you this, it's only the end of a chapter. Just pick up that pen and continue your journey. 

Lots of love, 
me.

I Can Hear You Dreaming

Distance- Christina Perri 
Experimenting with a new writing style so be nice okay? :D 

The scent of old books and parchments wafts into the air, mingling with the faint odour of damp carpets- vaguely reminding visitors of the monsoon. 


As I pace amidst the enormous book racks, each book whispering tales of princesses and dragons, of horses and knights, kingdoms and realms, of the past, present and future- an insight into the mind of the idiosyncratic author. 


A flip of a page and immediately I am whisked away into a world of wonder and imagination. Instantly I am enthralled by writer and his words- oh, his words intricately woven together like a tapestry, like a painting on a blank canvas. 


Engrossed by the wonder and the beauty of words, I turn page after page only to discover I have come to the end of the chronicle. The faint clanging of swords and the sound of mail hitting the ground all tucked away safely in the recess of my mind.


Replacing the book back onto the shelf, I set out to seek my own adventure. 


Signing out, 
marginally-sane


PS: In case I didn't write out clearly, this is my description of a library.. So yeahh..

I Wear My Converse With My Dress

La La Land- Demi Lovato

You start realise you're merely a carbon-based life form on a gigantic rock floating in outer space, rotating around the sun with the only other celestial body being the moon. That's when you know you're not all that. 


Yet we continue to try to become someone. We try to explore ourselves and who we are on this Earth and maybe one day, become a legend- to leave a mark here. 


But guess what? We could become legends in our own way. Recently I watched an Australian comedienne by the name of Adam Hills and he said something that changed me. His words were (and I'm paraphrasing a little but it's the main point that counts) If we could just inflate people instead of deflating them. To bring them up instead of putting people down- that would be amazing. Now the idea is that if you could inflate them and they continue to inflate others, your legacy still lives among them even long after you've gone. You have left your mark in the world. Even though it seems insignificant, but you have, without a doubt, changed someone's outlook and perspective of life. 


So let me start over.


Hi, I'm Abigail. I'm a big bowl of awkward but everything is going to be okay. 


Signing out, 
baubles

You're Roughly Six Feet Tall

On The Bright Side- Never Shout Never!


There's something we'd much rather be doing than whatever we're doing now. I'd like to think that one day, everything will all just fall into place- it would just settle down like the glitter and those white thingies you get in snow globes. But no. I wake up every morning only to look at myself in the mirror and wonder "am I doing the right thing?"


"You see the people on TV just hosting, travelling and eating? That's my dream job." 


Then why am I not pursuing my dreams? Because I'm being realistic. How many people make it in show business? Exactly. I chose the more stable, and perhaps even foolproof career because I'm afraid that my dreams would turn out to be akin to cold pancakes instead of the warm, buttery ones with golden syrup dripping down the sides as you imagined it would be.


There is no infallible choice but I'm taking the one where I can see the path and the destination, not the one hidden by the undergrowth of doubt and blocked by the shrubs of ambiguity. All I'm hoping for is that I don't wake up one day in my mid-forties and regret that I chose the safer, more acceptable option. 


So why aren't you chasing your dreams?


Signing out, 
two-sugar-no-cream

To Melt Away The Gray

What Can I Do- Joy Williams 


This would be another attempt at fiction. But then again, all fiction are based on some form of truth ;) 


The first time we met, I remember we were a little apprehensive of each other. 


"Now all we need is to find someone who fits all three criteria."
"You forgot the 'make-them-fall-in-love-with-us' bit."
"Right. Pheromones should do the trick. Smell like something guys like! Err.. What do they like?"
"New cars?"
"So we'll spray you from top to bottom with a 'new car' scent" 


We looked at each other and burst out laughing at the absurdity of of conversation. I thought back to the time when I assumed she'd be cold and unfriendly. Only now do I know how wrong I was.


"So I guess we'll just grow old together, eh?" I said as we lay on our on our back, counting the stars in the vast expanse of sky.
"I guess we will".

Signing out, 
cashews-are-nuts-with-allergies

I Won't Tell Anybody

Parachute- Ingrid Michealson 


I've never written fiction like this before so be nice yeah? 

“Stars shining bright above you”

We caught each other’s eyes and smiled. This was our song. You held your hand out to me. Before I knew it, we were dancing- moving to the rhythm of the song. You sing it song softly under your breath while I subconsciously try not to step on your feet.

“Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you”

The song continues to play from the speakers as you hold me tight and we continue to sway with the music. I close my eyes and feel myself relax as I inhale in the scent of you.

“But in your dreams whatever they may be, dream a little dream of me”

The song starts to fade away but we don’t release each other. The music stops eventually but we’re lost in our own little world. Because in that moment, I swear we were infinite. 

Signing out, 

lit-candles

PS: The last line is from The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It's not mine to claim.

Do You Gaze At Your Doorstep and Picture Me There?

Are You Lonesome Tonight- Elvis Presley. 


Have you ever wanted to freeze a moment so badly? Freeze it so you could live in that time period forever. You don't want to leave that instant because at that point of time, everything is perfect- perfect and carefree. 


I think we're afraid to leave that juncture because then things might change. We know that people change and that's what we're afraid off. We're afraid that they won't remember us, that they'll forget the times we laughed until we cried or even the other way around. 


We're afraid of drifting apart. Because drifting happens so gradually you never notice the effect until much later and what's even worse than that bit is the fact that we don't mourn for that lost friendship. We shrug it off and move on but secretly hoping that the other person would pick up the phone first and call. 


Well, this post turns out to be a pretty depressing one, so I'm just going to end the melancholic bit and move on to happier things. Like this huge mosquito bite on my leg. If I don't scratch it too often, then maybe it won't add to the collection of mosquito-bite-scars. Perhaps one day, I'd take the time to do something about those other scars like get treatment or whatnots. 


Signing out, 
cotton-pjs

Sweet Dreams Till Sunbeams Find You

Dream A Little Dream Of Me- The Papas & The Mamas.


And before I know it, my life in college is over. Do I feel any different? Nope. Not at all. In fact, I still feel 17. But my experiences in college- I will never trade them for anything else. 


I've found my best friends in college. Maybe it's because we're brought together by circumstances and even though we're from very different backgrounds, we're on a level playing field at that point of time. Maybe we may never meet again but know that I'll always treasure our memories together (: 


To be honest, as much as I complained and moaned about the life I had in college, I enjoyed having spontaneity in my life. I am a planner. I like planning as much as I can but when I arrived, I learned to let things happen and enjoy the ride. They say you can't be looking out the window if you're always looking at the map. Of course the destination is important but why not enjoy the view at the same time? Look at me being all philosophical and such :B 


Now that I have a 6-month break, I am thinking of looking for a job back in Kuching. Keep your fingers crossed that I'll find one :D 


And before I forget, I'd like to dedicate this section of the post to Pae (you know who you are ;] And to those who don't know who this amazing girl is, know that she's one of the coolest people I've met) 

Source: pursuitofhapppinessss.tumblr.com via Kelli on Pinterest

You know what I'm referring to ;]

Signing out,

Raisins-are-elderly-grapes. 

Know That Maybe I Will Be Okay

Be Ok- Ingrid Michaelson

So much of things to do, so little time. It gets worse because of the fact that I find it hard to sleep. I don't want to resort to texting people just to fall asleep. Or even drop by the local pharmacy for some over-the-counter sleeping pills. The fact that I mentioned sleeping pills give some people the heebie-jeebies. But let me clear the air. No, I am not that depressed to overdose of sleeping pills and yes, I really need my REM sleep because anything less than that is just a sad excuse of sleep. 



Anyway, depressing topics aside, this year I celebrated Gawai away from home. My friend invited me to join them on a little excursion to Subang to celebrate the Harvest Festival in a slightly unconventional manner. I tagged along and had the best time albeit all the walking because we were all far too cheap to take the cab. It was almost exactly like Gawai- all the walking, the food, the large group of people down to the karaoke session. To make it truly like the 'kampung atmosphere', we only sang Indonesian and some Malay songs popular during the Gawai-karaoke season. We also managed to find a native Sabahan song in the list so why not right? All 15 of us berjoget-ing in the tiny cramped room of the karaoke premises was a sight to behold. We probably looked stupid to people staring into our little room but no one cared. We danced, we laughed and we had fun so I'm sorry if you're offended by fun *note: sarcasm* 



All this writing until 2 in the morning is really starting to take a toll on my growling tummy so I'm off to look for something to munch on. I know I have cookies somewhere on my table. Perhaps it's hidden by the amount of books, papers, dust and stationary on my table. Also on my to-do list: Kill that mosquito in my room and do something about the ant population in the unit. Oh before I forget, since the new Blogger site allows me to see when and who views my posts, I would appreciate it if you dropped a few words in either the comment page or the chatbox. There's no need to hide. I know. 



Signing out, 
a-party-in-my-tummy



You know the part of life where it gets better? You don't? Well yeah. Me neither. 

And It's Hard To Dance With A Devil On Your Back

Shake It Out- Florence And The Machine

And we're halfway there. 

Have you been in a race before? When everyone around you is cheering wildly. You're running but your lungs seem like they're about the explode. The muscles in your leg is screaming for a rest and your heart is pumping like an overworked machine. Your head is spinning and all you want to do is just give up and give in to your body- to just collapse and lie on the ground until everything is over. 

But no. You see the finish line just around the bend. It's there and it's not a mirage. It's not a figment of your imagination. You take a deep breath and you just continue to run. 

Signing out,

they-have-five-petals

I'll Send A Postcard To You, Dear

Vanilla Twilight- Owl City

 The weather is being ridiculous. Honestly, it's like breathing through a surgical mask and the worse part is being attacked by mosquitoes every two seconds. How am I supposed to have the will to spam pass years when the weather is being uncooperative? *insert sad face here*


I also found out that I can sweat out the back of my knees. And that is just ugh.


The air is now getting a bit more tensed and I can practically see the indent of my butt imprinted on my chair. Not a pretty sight, I assure you. Aside from preparing for exams, my days are pretty mundane. It's now a constant blur of doing pass years, freaking out cos I don't know how to answer some questions, humming the Sukiyaki song in the shower and perhaps even annoying my housemates by suddenly busting in a song when I do Math. But you really can't blame me because I have a perfectly legit reason for that. I downloaded the "Best Disney Album In The World" and I listen to it every time I do a Math paper. How can I not sing along?! 


So, I haven't done my laundry and it's piling up. I should do it but I'm lazy :( *flops around like a fish* This morning I literally crawled out of bed to go to the hall only to continue sleeping on the couch. I am in deep trouble come next week. Oh well, chin up and charge the mountain, Abigail. 


Signing out, 
Fibonacci-Numbers

My Heart Is Filled With You

You Got Me- Colbie Caillat 

 So what's new? It's 2 in the morning and I am starting to regret taking an afternoon nap. I would talk about my upcoming exams but that's far to depressing a topic so I'd rather not.


A while back I managed to convince my dad to allow me to use his car. Good news, I am not that short in the driver's seat. Bad news, a motorcyclist managed to cut right in front of me (totally not my fault) and caused a tiny dent on the left side. It's really tiny and can only be seen if you squint. I promise. I'm not sure what this means for me, but I haven't really touched the car since. Oh well. Not that I mind being driven around since I'm absolutely terrified when there's a surplus of cars on the road, major traffic congestion, crossing roads and roundabouts.


Speaking of fears, I've been seeing a lot of black cats around and while I'm not superstitious, it does make me wonder- Is something sinister brewing in the horizon? *shifty eyes* Evil or not, these cats are adorable and their black coat makes them look both mysterious yet strangely regal and If I had a black cat, I would name it Bellatrix. Black cats remind me of panthers. I mean seriously, what's not to like about panthers? Even the name "panther" sounds awesome! No wait, after saying it few times, it sounds like a name for telephone harassers. You know, cos they pant? If the joke's lost on you, your sense of humour is highly underdeveloped. You should have it checked.


It's half past two now and I think I'm ready for bed.

Signing out,  
highlighter-and-glitter-pens 

PS: You give me premature ventricular contractions

I Want Your Lips To Sing

In The Next Room- Neon Trees

This is something I wrote about a week ago.
Inspired by oppression, discrimination and the sense of belonging.

If I could, then I would,
Make my bed a country.
With a population of one,
I may be bored and lonely and glum.

So I’ll allow citizenship
To perhaps a hundred and one teddy bears
Of varying degrees of wear and tears
And treat them all the same.

My flag would be a pillowcase
Displayed proudly for all to see
The flag may change during laundry day
But whatever happens, my bed-country is here to stay.

I would constantly retreat to my little sanctuary
And I’ll never ever have to worry
About acceptance, prejudice or animosity
Cos my bed-country will always be there for me :)

It's not much but I'm glad I wrote it.

Signing out,
smile-and-wave

PS: Busy busy busy bee you are!

Because You Lighten Up My Heart When I Start To Cry

First Love- Adele

The cold library offers some sort of comfort against the heat outside.

The task of completing the individual investigation (II) is really taking a toll on everyone in college. Of course there are some who are already done with their draft and waiting for final directives from the Head of Program before submission. Unlike them, there are many of us serial procrastinators lurking in the four walls of this prestigious college. Of course I'm using the term 'prestigious' very loosely but you get the gist.

I digress.

I should be doing my II now.

Signing out,
Encyclopedias-and-such

If You Are Chilly Here Take My Sweater

The Way I Am- Ingrid Michaelson

I was doing my devotions one morning when I came across this paragraph:

"Oh those blessed wound prints, the most precious evidence of everlasting love and care. He has graven you upon the palms of His hands. The Great God who sustains the universe thinks continually of you. The Almighty can never forget you or overlook you. It's just not possible. So when the next hurricane of unbelief comes crashing into your life and you find it so hard to believe you are of such little consequence in heaven because you are of so little consequence on earth, throw your anchor into the dark depths the surround the cross and I promise you, you will find a firm anchor point for your soul." -Every Day with Jesus- The Stormbreaker

How comforting it is to know that God never forgets us even though we stumble and fall in life. How comforting it is it to know that whenever we feel undeserved, He's always there. How comforting it is to know that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).

So, what's new with me? Trials ended about two weeks ago and I went back to Kuching for a week, gave my mum a surprise when I walked into the kitchen because she thought I wasn't able to come back for the week. Dad and Bev managed to keep it a secret the whole time (YAY! for them :D )

And then the week ended. Back to depressing Shah Alam with impending doom just waiting at the gates of INTEC- trial results. It frustrates me so much to know that I could do the questions but because of carelessness, I lost a lot of marks.

* Looks at Math paper* "(-4)^2=8" OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
* Looks at Statistics paper* "Walao. Since when your mean can minus your X value one? It's X minus mean larh!*
* Looks at Biology paper* "You mixed up LDL and HDL! How could youuuuuuu?!!"

And this is only the first 5 papers. I don't really want to see the rest :/

Signing out,
fix-me

I Could Be Your New Addiction

Everybody Talks- Neon Trees

I've never been so excited to receive an email from Air Asia and I'm going back next week. This would be the first time I have been so homesick and miss home this much. Oh well. It could be hormonal. Maybe.

Anyway, the first half of trials are over and one more week of torture before I get to retreat to my shell of ignorance, stay there for a week, then come out hopefully refreshed and ready to slay another fire-breathing dragon.

Speaking of dragons, I seem to have one in my tummy and I am yet to feed it. I should go look for food now.

Signing out,
it's-fiction

PS: I forgot the structure of an amyloplast :(

But I'm A Busy Little Bee

Beekeeper's Daughter- All American Rejects

It's 1.35am and I'm not in bed yet. Because I am trying to steel myself to sit on my study table to study.

"COME ON, ABIGAIL!"

Oh well, I guess I could start later in the morning. Also, I need to wash my hair.

Signing out,
A-is-for-Awesome

PS: I told my dad I'd dye my hair a crazy colour like purple or something. He didn't bat an eyelash. In fact, he said "Why not red? Or blue? :O

Reading Into Every Word You Say

Somebody That I Used to Know- Goyte feat. Kimbra

Today I am writing this under the influence of drugs. Yes, I am high because I just took my flu medication and went to sleep. I may be awake now but I'm pretty sure I'm hovering a few inches above my seat.

Today was supposed to be my rest day. And by rest day, I mean a day where I go to Starbucks to sit and study Chemistry there. But I can't. Because first of all, I am sick and second, my dad's not around.

So now I am just going to wallow in my sorrow thinking about how much I am going to waste today while I have a piece of tissue paper stuck up my nose so a rogue snot does not escape. Stay classy, Abigail.

Signing out,
seashells-and-seesaws

PS: Hey Lippy and Maxine, if you're reading this, cheers! (: And may the odds be ever in your favour

C'est Magnifique

Sympathique- Pink Martini
Well can I? ;]

This year, I got a Starbucks frappuccino and I am strangely contented. Maybe because I'm so easily pleased.

I have just completed a Biology Topic 1 and 2 tutorial sheet, a Statistic paper, a Math paper and yet I have so many other things to do. One would be study for tomorrow's Biology quiz.

My lecturer came up with a bright idea where she got about a dozen of random words in our Biology syllabus and we're supposed to describe the word to our teammates to score a point. Sounds easy right? Well, it actually is. Up until one forgets what 'phylum' means or when your teammates don't understand your description of an amyloplast. But we had fun. Except I don't think I would tomorrow since I haven't studied the said topics :/

I'm guessing by the time I get off my butt to get my books and actually try looking through tomorrow's topic, the official Valentines Day would be over. But don't worry, there's always tomorrow. The sun will always come out tomorrow.

Signing out,
eraser-dust

You Sang Me Spanish Lullabies

Almost Lover- A Fine Frenzy

I received my RM200 worth of book vouchers a while back and I have yet to use them.

I love my books. I love reading them, buying them, wrapping them in nice plastic wrappers to keep them nice (and hide spine 'injuries') and I love the smell of books. So receiving these vouchers would only feed my passion for books- feed it like coal to a engine of a steam locomotive. I told myself that I would spend my book vouchers wisely and get books I have always wanted to read or recommended books from Goodreads but so far, I have no time to even visit a local bookstore.

Trials in in two weeks and I am very frazzled to even do anything. I study Chemistry and I feel bad for not touching Biology, I do Math and I find myself thinking about the enormous pile of notes I have to read for Chemistry. Yes I am capricious (and I can't believe I just used a fancy word)

As of now, I am feeling very pissed off because there's a mosquito under the table and it is attacking my leg furiously. I am itching so badly but I don't want to scratch it because my skin discolours easily. Oh well.

In the mean time, I shall keep calm and continue reading Biology.

Signing out,
hipster-water

PS: Whatchu doing there? *shifty eyes*

Cos I'd Rather Pretend I'll Still Be There At The End

The Writer- Ellie Goulding

Recently we conducted an experiment on snails. I know some people have their reservations on animal testing but this one did not require any form of torture and we even put it back in its original habitat where we found it. See, we are rather considerate people.

So on the way back after conducting the experiment, I bumped into a friend and we started talking about our experiment results. I couldn't get results because my snail was too busy eating my paper (yes, it did. Honest) and when I transferred to a leaf, it started eating the leaf too.

I was slightly apprehensive to pick up my snail cos it was stuck fast onto the plastic container I was afraid I'd yank it too hard, separating it from its body.

Don't worry about it, I answered. They're kinda coiled in such a way in their shells you won't yank it out so easily.

How would you know?

Well, let's just say I wasn't very kind towards invertebrates okay?

The look on my friend's face was definitely one I will never forget.

Signing out,
chocolate-frog

PS: The sky- beautiful, isn't it? (:

You Picked Me

I am not known for being the friendliest person on Earth and in fact I have been pegged as a somewhat reserved person. Or aloof and perhaps even hostile. I'm not sure.

Anyway, a few days ago I decided to contact my best friend from primary school. It's common knowledge that if you stop communicating after about 7 years, you can forget about reconnecting or whatever. I took a chance and sent her a Facebook message.

My pointer hovered over the "send" button and in the end I told myself Oh screw it. If she doesn't want to reply, then I can't do anything right?

I hit send and went to bed. The next morning there was a reply and from there we exchanged phone numbers and soon we were making plans to have lunch. Because we're both very honest (perhaps also suffering from verbal diarrhea), she said she's afraid we would just sit in awkward silence and I told her I felt the same way too (wow, I never realised how gay that sounded).

We went out today and well, some things never change I guess. She still love eating ice and I still take very long to finish my food (:

Signing out,
rain-or-shine

PS: The week passed by so fast and I'm so behind in my work schedule.nuuuuuuuu :(

Captivated in Her Palm

Today marks a day in history. One where I blogged for a second consecutive day and the other because today, on the 25th of January 2012, I, Abigail, watched a Chinese movie in the cinema. It was not only very Chinese, it was a local Cantonese movie. If you're wondering if I was either drugged or under the influence of alcohol-neither. It was a conscious decision. Well, sort of.

"Abby, wake up. Wanna watch Ah Beng the Movie?" my dad suggested while nudging me to get out of bed.

I groaned and felt around the bed for my phone to look at the time- 9.15am

I croaked, "Watch what?"

"Ah Beng the Movie. I checked the time and we could catch the 11.50am show if you get ready now."

Soon we were off to TGV and that's when I noticed the poster.

Ah Beng the Movie: Three Wishes and at the corner Cant. short for Cantonese.

"Dad?" I called out. "You realise it's a Cantonese movie, right?"

"Don't worry. I'm sure there will be subtitles." he assured me while excitedly standing in line for tickets.

And he was right- there were subtitles.

Signing out,
parachutes-and-paradise

Just Close Your Eyes

In a small amount of time, i have gone from raping the replay button for 'Safe and Sound' by Taylor Swift to a slightly more upbeat tune like Karmin's 'Crash Your Party' and a dash of Panic! Oh well, maybe I have a personality disorder I don't know about yet *winks*

My dad and I spent the second day of Chinese New Year pretending to be looking for furniture in Harvey Norman.

What do you think of this colour?
I prefer this one.
*Tries on every Lazyboy chair and watch salespeople fall over themselves trying to make a sales pitch*

While walking out of Harvey Norman, dad said his feet kinda hurt a little.

Let's go to Osim for free massage!

Yeah, we went into Osim only to use their massage chair and came out about half an hour later feeling refreshed. Don't give me that shocked look! I know you do it too!

Anywho, I recently reconnected with an old friend. Perhaps because we're notoriously honest people, I told her that I'm sorry for sounding really stalker-ish after 2 texts by asking if she's available to go out for coffee or something this week and she replied by saying since we have not spoken for 7 years it would be really awkward because we probably have nothing in common anymore.

I totally agree with her but we're determined to meet up and hopefully it wouldn't turn out as awkward as we both feel it might. So fingers-crossed (:

Now excuse me while I attempt to do some college-related homework.

Signing out,
shadow-puppets

Footsteps Even Lighter

Did you really mean it?

Going to a cell group meeting the other day, someone spoke about fasting and how beginning the year by fasting would be an awesome way to kickoff the year. It was then when I asked myself "When was the last time you actually fasted and prayed?" Maybe it won't be too late to start fasting and praying again (:

A few days ago, I went for a class Chinese New Year Reunion Dinner in Subang but before dinner, I went shopping in Sunway Pyramid. While shopping, my mum called me and suddenly the conversation took a turn into a somewhat heated debate and I end up walking aimlessly into random stores checking out their wares half-hardheartedly and we spoke for nearly an hour.

Ending the conversation one hour later, I was feeling relatively tired, annoyed and well, pissed off. So I took out my rage on my debit card. Three hours later, I managed to overspend. Thank goodness it's now the Chinese New Year holidays so I don't have to starve in the hostel because I can come back to Klang. Sorry dad :B

Now I'm off to eat an orange and celebrate the beauty of a perfectly-made pineapple tart.

Signing out,
cross-stitches-are-angry

Let The Streets Resound With Singing

Let the music play

The start of a new semester brings new beginnings, hope renewed and last but not least, exam results. Truth be told, I am not particularly in a celebratory mood especially after Chemistry. Flipping through the paper, I noticed careless mistakes, errors I could have avoided, a blunder on my part and all this just amounts to my ever increasing self-loathe.

I have finally admitted out loud that sometimes I just have a certain revulsion towards myself. I know that I shouldn't feel this way and when I do, I feel worse. Almost depressed in fact. They say the first step to the road of recovery is to acknowledge the fact and maybe now I finally do.

Looking back at my paper, I noticed mistakes done so carelessly like obtaining the answer for a multiple choice question and marking the wrong answer on the answer sheet. And guess what? I did that THREE times! I forgot to write the units costing me one mark. My electronic configuration of copper (I) ion has a 4s1 electron (I don't know what possessed me to put that in), I didn't write the bond angles when it was clearly stated in the question and I only wrote the shape. I forgot the word 'deprotonation' during the exam so I had to write ligand exchange so I wouldn't have to leave that part blank only to remember that accursed word while handing in my paper. Oh Abigail, aren't you a genius?

The worst feeling is knowing that after 3 semesters, this is the kind of results I'm producing. And with only one more term to go and finals looming in the horizon, I am probably the worse person to offer words of encouragement and sympathy with me snapping at everyone being all irritable and antisocial.

After posting this, I dread the words that might come out of my peers which would probably be "PIA UNTIL KENOT PIA ANYMORE! Then when you feel like kenot pia, drink Red Bull then pia some more!" Ah, my friends give excellent advice, don't they?

I end this post with a note that I might have may or may not mildly exaggerated to some extent my sanity and my views on public examinations.

Signing out,
ai-laff-cats-berry-much

Ps: I think cabbages are adorable. They're like leaves that hug each other. They give each other leafy hugs. Aren't they so full of love? :3

I've Got My Own Agenda

First post of the year and it's from my sad hostel in Shah Alam. Great way to start blogging eh?

Walking into the apartment, I noticed the place was unusually clean but I pushed those thoughts aside and placed everything I owned on higher ground so I could start mopping. And guess what? The mop was missing.

A missing mop! Darnnit! I crossed the expanse of the hall and into the room to mentally assess the situation. Okay, nothing seems to be missing here. I walked around the house to do an inventory check and found not only was the mop missing, so is the dustpan but they left the broom (how kind).

Noting that they seemed to take cleaning items, I went to the bathroom to check if our toilet brush was still intact. It was! Yay! But they took my bottle of shampoo. The reason why I didn't take my shampoo was so I could use the bottle again. Buy a refill pack (which is cheaper and more environmentally friendly). The bottle was half-filled and they took it! Hmph.

So now I'm just waiting for my housemates to arrive so we can go shopping for a new mop and a dustpan. This would prove interesting. In the mean time, I have to check if the laundry-shop thingy (what are they called anyway?) is open today. The curtains need to be washed.

Cheerio.

Signing out,
figments, they are

PS: They also took the floor mat.