Clap Until Your Hands Hurt

2010 is coming to an end and I'm wondering what have I achieved this year. Frankly speaking, I think 2010 ended really fast.

And because I am obsessed with lists, I shall make a list of things. Of what, I have no idea yet. I shall just try going with the flow.

*5 minutes later*

Okay, I shall just be cliche' and make a list on how 2010 was an awesome year. Since it's 2010, I shall make 10 reasons (: I smart, no? Oh, the list is in no particular order. It's based on what comes to my mind first. *Philosoraptor moment* If I remember a particular incident first, then isn't that my highlight of the year? Okay, I change my mind. No list. Just points. But the points happen to be in numbers. And the numbers are in descending order. Oh, and they start from the number 10.

On second thought, I change my mind. I shall just talk about random things that catch my eye. I'll just start with one lah.

1. Ireland.
Yes, Ireland. Cassandra managed to convert me into an Irish potato and I am now listening to songs like Come By The Hills and Danny Boy. On loop. Oh yes, it's that bad. Which reminds me, stop listening to Justin Bieber. Seriously. Try Damian McGinty. After listening to him, you'd seriously start wondering how on Earth did Justin Bieber become so famous for his girl-voice? Damian, on the other hand, is hawt. And he sings better. I've also taken sudden interest in the political structure in the UK.

2. RM3.99 tee's from Carrefour.
One can't deny that I am a bargain hunter. So far, I have never found anything as comfortable as those cheap, cottony goodness. They're an ideal substitute for pajamas. If you need to wake up early in the morning to go to the market, just hop out of bed and off to the market in these babies. What a great way to save time and money :D

3. A:TLA
Only fans would know what I'm referring to- only the greatest cartoon ever created. Where the female characters are strong, the males characters are intricately designed to create a flawless..No wait, if it's flawless, Zutara would have happened. And don't get me started on that. I think I've had enough posts about them. And I am not obsessed with them. rawr.

4. Texting.
If you must know, I am what some may call an avid texter. I use the Short Message System a lot. I think the longest I have gone without texting is 5 days. But that was only because I had to surrender my phone during National Service training. During that time, I didn't really miss my phone but the nights are lonelier without contact with the outside world. Although there are times that I've misplaced my phone- no texting and/or calling for 3 days straight. Turns out, I left my phone in the kitchen cabinet and it's on silent mode.

5. Tumblr.
Although this has been around for quite some time but I've been sucked into the system just this year. An innocent click and tap made me somewhat addicted to Tumblr. A strange idea which somehow turned out to be quite popular.

6. Holidays.
Every year, I look forward to the holidays. But when it ends, as much as I look forward to seeing my friends, I never liked the idea of extra pressure and the workload. I have to say the reason I like the holidays a lot is the fact that I can spend time with my friends and family. Sometimes it doesn't even matter where we are. Now I sound mushy so I'll just stop talking.

7. Shopping.
Oh how I love the sales. Be it bags, shoes, tops, bottoms, cute skirts, dresses. Ah, may nothing take your place (: The only problem the lack of cash. It is definitely a limiting factor. Sigh..

8. MBO.
The new MBO cinema in Klang is nice place to catch a movie. The fact that it's practically deserted and has nice seats is the main reason why I prefer MBO in Klang. The only problem is the people who work there. I'd rather not speak ill of them. They might curse me back.

9. Cats.
'Nuff said.

10. You ;]

So goodbye 2010. Hello Future.

Signing out,
starry-nights

We'll Build Our Own Town

December is now officially "The Month of Awesome". And then immediately after typing that out, I rethink my statement. I may have embellished and exaggerated a little. Okay, maybe a lot. I mean, it's always raining, it's the mosquito-breeding season, clothes take a while to dry, it's when I tend to overspend and owe my sister money. Yeap, I'm definitely retracting that statement.

Then again, December is the month of sales, the month of holidays, the month with nice movies, the month with eccentric fashion statements. THE MONTH OF CHRISTMAS!

I have never been this high for Christmas for quite a while. Maybe because every year I end up celebrating it in Klang. I mean, Klang is an okay place. Nice malls, great sales, choices galore and Kuching still has some catching up to do, but maybe it's the company I miss. Not forgetting last year I had to prepare myself mentally for National Service.

So, Christmas. Why is it special? Yea, commemorating the birth of Christ and so on and so forth. I think Wikipedia can provide a thorough explanation about it but why do I like Christmas?

Maybe I like the carols sung? Maybe I like the decorations? As much as I like that part of Christmas, I like the Christmas air. When everyone is in a good mood. Everyone is willing to forgive, give out gifts, be nice and everyone is wishing everyone else a good day ahead.

But why should it be practiced only during Yuletide? Personally I think it should be a habit, a culture. Why should we be forgiving only during Christmas and raise hell at other times? Are we just being nice during Noel and at other times we treat other people worst than the dirt under our feet?

Maybe we've all been hypocrites the whole time- being nice in front of people we know and unkind to strangers just because they looked at you funny.

So in the spirit of Christmas, give up a seat in the train or bus for someone older even if they're able-bodied. Ask the person at the back of you in a shopping line to pay first at the check-out counter. Say hi to a stray cat. Smile at anyone random- not just the cute guys! And last but not least, go treat yourself to some chocolate or ice-cream and while eating, think of something nice you've done for someone the whole year. You might find yourself smiling. If you can't think of anything, then just think of ME!

Signing out,
onion-banana-juice

Let's Go Back to 1983

Being a civic-minded Malaysian left me RM8 poorer. Yes, I could have saved RM8 if I did not buy the train ticket from Teluk Pulai to Mid Vally station and back. Why?

Simple.

Practically any Tom, Dick and Harry can get on the Teluk Pulai station without a ticket. I can buy a ticket from Mid Vally to say Subang, pay less and ride for free all the way to Teluk Pulai because the gate is always open and anyone can gain access to the platform.

It did not cross our minds to do such things. We were far too innocent to cheat the system. Also because when we reached the Mid Valley station, we had to use the tickets to get out of the station. Lo and behold, the ticket thingy malfunctioned so we all just dropped our tickets in a bin provided. Bonus point: no one was watching. Most people did not drop their tickets in. For keepsakes, I suppose. So, IF I travelled without a ticket, I would have saved RM4 from Teluk Pulai to Mid Valley.

After a long day of shopping, we went back to the station and bought a ticket back to Teluk Pulai station. And guess what? The machine was still down! Which meant we could have used the train services all the way to Teluk Pulai for FREE! rawr.

Yes, another RM4 spent. And that makes RM8 altogether. *frustrated face* I am thus RM8 poorer. More like RM58 because I ended up getting something. Heh :D

Signing out,
something-fried-please?

Ps: I do not recommend you to do it (try to get on a train without a ticket) though. But maybe, just maybe, you thought of going to Klang and suddenly changed your mind and decided to get down in Teluk Pulai to see me, don't tell anyone. Hush XD

2 Days

Helping my aunt out in the bookshop, I had an interesting conversation with my cousin. It was about someone we both know. You could say a common friend. Anyway, apparently the young lady (she's 14) thinks that pregnancy is caused by kissing. Yes, kissing.

I was shocked, gobsmacked, flabbergasted, astonished, blown away, stupefied and I've officially run out of synonyms.

Now I know why the government wants to implement sex education in schools.

So, what do you think?

On a different note, the mosquitoes in Klang are rampant. They attack mercilessly and bite, consume my precious AB positive blood and then leave me scratching furiously cursing inwardly, seething. rawr.

Okay, I'm off to destroy some blood-sucking insects. Wish me luck :)

Signing out,
singing-in-the-rain

Ps: Omg! Omg! Omg! Dancing in the rain and strong wind brings out the inner child in me. Try it!

Casualties

Have you ever restrained yourself so much it just takes a herd of elephants to stop you from punching that particular annoying person. And then all you need is a 2B pencil [or anything cheaper preferably], you snap it in half and there, problem solved (:

No, I did not break anything. You may sigh in relief. Nothing like a good rant and rage songs can't fix.

And yes, once again it takes great self-restraint to stop myself from talking about it here. I mean, I deal with things by putting them down in words but preferably not here. I do not treat my blog like my diary and it makes absolutely no sense why some people do that. Whatever happened to good ol' pillow talk with your girlfriends?

I have [sadly] given in to this fad called tumblr. It was unintentional which then turned into hours and hours [actually, I think I only spend about half an hour on it] looking for cute sayings, cool pictures and downright funny things to reblog. I think the concept is something like stumbleupon.com [I'm not entirely sure which one came first and I'll admit that. Also because I'm too lazy to google it].

Which reminds me, I wonder if I've said it before, but I'll say it again anyway. I'm pretty sure Google is now a verb and is no longer just a noun. Are you guilty of saying things like: "Sure, I'll Google it" or "I'm Google-ing right now". It has replaced the word for search in our daily dictionary and the only times we use the word "search" is well, maybe never. Seriously, do you even say things like: "Help me search for my car keys"? In fact, we say it as: "Oi, where's my car keys?!"

Which reminds me of how much I just love analysing things. I'm also guilty of analysing people too. Blame all those psychology books and my penchant for anything related to psychology. Maybe that's why I love analysing poems, novels, short stories and basically anything. The awesome part about it [me, actually] is that I can do it objectively.

For example, I understand why people hate the Twilight series and compare it to Harry Potter. Personally, I think Stephanie Meyer has a long way to go with writing anything. I'm not just talking about Twilight but every other book she wrote. I'm very tempted to compare her to other authors but that would make me a rather subjective person right? But how can I give an objective comment to someone who is obviously not up to standards?

The very fact that her portrayal of every character is flawed and a bad influence to young women around the world. Parents, I'm undoubtedly sure you want your daughters to grow up to be strong, independent young women ready to take the world by storm not milk-and-water individuals, unable to live if they break up. Yes, everyone will [with no doubt] experience a break up- with the exception of match-made marriages. But it is primarily how we deal with it. Some may cry for a while, some may throw stuff around, some may just bottle it up and carry on with life. But no one is supposed to mope around just letting the days pass by in a blur.

I have unfortunately derailed from my original topic. Heck, I don't even think I have an original topic. So I shall leave you with a final word [more like words] from me. And that is: Go watch the film adaptation of The Importance of Being Ernest and read the book too.

Signing out,
yellow-and-blue

When The Leaves

I have no idea why my previous post refuses to have a smaller font. I'm a wee bit pissed I can't even construct proper sentences about my font size.

But I digress. I just came back from the state right above Selangor. Yeap, Perak. I was in Manjung district in a quaint town called Beruas [or Bruas, according to some signboards] and I spent 4 days in cat heaven. Although Kuching town sounds like a cat heaven, I have to admit, the cats there are rather unfriendly and they would trade you in the black market for a kilogram of salted fish. I kid you not.

My uncle has 2 beautiful cats and I spent my days just playing/stroking/petting/annoying/feeding/hugging, basically just doing what one does to a pretty kitty.

Enough about the cats. It's time to talk about another animal or rather insect. The mosquitoes. They are ubiquitous and I swear they can drive you insane.

I am in the Christmas mood [I'm in the Christmas mood all the time, it's just dormant] and I'm playing Ingrid Michaelson's When The Leaves over and over again, wishing for crunchy leaves and a nice weather to sip hot cocoa in red and green mugs. Then again, nature has its little quirks. Global warming is giving me an opportunity to step in crunchy/crispy leaves on the sidewalk enjoying a not-so-hot-weather and good enough to get a random teh tarik.

Yes, life is definitely good.

Signing out,
snowflakes-are-noms

Ps: grrr..

Crash and Burn

This is how I ended my days in Kuching.

Eat. Sleep. Go out. Hit my head. Massaging my sore head. Complaining about my sore head. And the list goes on.

But I digress. I am now in my grandmother's house while pretending to understand everything she's saying. For all I know, she might be telling me to eat while I nod my head vaguely.

Is it me, or everytime we go to the airport, it never goes according to plan. This time, the plan was go to airport, check-in and have breakfast. But no.

Air Asia decided to give us an earlier flight (from the initial 12pm flight to the 11.15am flight) causing us to rush to the departure hall. In the flurry of events, we managed to buy breakfast in hopes to eat it while waiting to board the plane.

Scarfing down the last of the burger from McDonalds [we actually wanted to get those breakfast hotcake thingies but no time. Meh] we looked at the time. It's 11.20am. Where is the plane if we're supposed to board at 11.15am as stated on the boarding pass?

After half an hour of analyzing the way people walk, twiddling our thumbs and talking about the movie 'Fired Up', FINALLY. Finally, we're lining up to board the plane. Glancing at my watch, I realized it was 12pm. The original time we're supposed to board.

Air Asia, Y U make us feel happy to go earlier then take it away?

I have made up my mind. I'm very sure the people who write to Air Asia's in-flight magazine are either imaginary people or they are lying just to win prizes. rawr.

Signing out,
I-want-my-hotcakes!

Accidently on Purpose

You guessed it, nothing to do. Again.

Anyhoo, my time in Kuching is coming to an end. As much as I want my days to last by going out and having a blast with my friends, it is impossible although virtually possible. All this for the 'greater good'. Tell me again why I should be a good daughter and let daddy have his way?

Sometimes I remember the things we did in high school and I- who in the world is Puan Uthman Dantata and why does she want to be friends with me on Facebook? Oh sorry about that. I got distracted by a notification. Where was I? Oh right. And I remembered the time Maxine and I did some voice-over thing for the school. Well, they didn't use the video in the end but it was fun in the recording studio. But having to repeat the lines over and over again or trying to say a ridiculously long line in one breath, I don't miss that. Although hearing Maxine repeat "5 local Chinese girls" was funny.

The ISCF's annual Kindness Project- giving out free drinks during Sport's Day. Ah, memories. Eh, the drinks bukan calang-calang wan okay? Sunquick orange juice. And it's cold. For free. Walking under the hot sun to reach the Red Crescent members in their stations, passing out drinks to eager students supporting their respective houses by screaming till they're hoarse. Good times. I think we walked to McDonald's one time. All the way from Pending to Kuching town just for a sundae. Oh the power of McDonald's.

The Merdeka project is definitely worth mentioning. We came up with the script together and then had a few practice sessions. Then of course there's me screwing up the performance for the afternoon session and having a giggle-fit Lip Yi had to take over for me.

Who could forget the time we celebrated my birthday in Pizza Hut which we then ditched for the Senso, Hilton. Yeap, I celebrated my 17th in a bar y'all. And in every high, there's a low. My 18th was in National Service. It's self-explanatory.

Our very own 5Sc1 so-called 'prom night' where we all sent mass texts to everyone asking them all to wear dresses just because Miss Marjoyln [then. Now Mdm. Marjolyn] told us she wants us all to dress up. Well thanks to her, we all arrived all dolled up and ready to do what we Teresians do best. What else? EAT!

Now, why exactly am I reminiscing my past? Well, it's because we grow up and then think about the past and dream about the future while swimming/wading/cruising/hacking/sweating/bleeding through the present. Why am I mentioning only certain things? Because it's late and I'm too lazy to think about anything extra.

Oh, and this is just a random filler post. If I've wasted your time, please accept my insincere apologies because guess what? I don't care.

Signing out,
write-me-a-song?

Kuching, Did You Miss Me?

Overslept and woke up at 5am this morning.

Yea, I know what you're thinking. 5am and it's called overslept? Well, I was supposed to leave the house at 5am then reach the airport at 6.30am to check-in early and get the emergency seats for bigger leg room and have breakfast with dad and then take my sweet time to the departure gate at 7.40am.

BUT..

Since I overslept, we left the house at 5.45am, reached the airport at 6.40am, checked-in and breakfast, hugged dad and went through immigrations.

Looking at my boarding pass, it was circled "Gate P7". So I made my way to P7 only to find that it's for those going to Langkawi. Cursing Air Asia inwardly, I walked looking like I owned the place and looked for flight AK 5202. There it was- gate P10. Muttering under my breath, I sat down and wondered where is everyone? P10 was practically deserted. I switched on my laptop and proceeded to read a book when I felt my phone vibrate. Mum. After a long chat with her, I looked up at the LED board. It no longer showed Kuching. Instead it was bound to Surabaya!

What just happened? With a stoic face, I picked up my bag and ducked into the nearest shop. Pretending to look at the expiry date of the bread [of all things], I scanned the nearest gates for their details. Lo and behold. Gate P7 [again] bound to Kuching and it's what? I squint my eyes a little. Is boarding? Oh shoot!

I hurriedly replaced the bread back onto the shelves and sauntered to the accursed gate. Within 5 minutes, we were making our way to the aircraft. Damn Air Asia and their stinginess. No nose bridge meaning we had to walk all the way from the main terminal to the plane. Glancing at my boarding pass, I looked for my seat. 9D. YES! Aisle seat! Not bothering to make small talk with my neighbour, I tried to make myself comfortable with the small leg room and the sun shining right in my eyes.

The flight was good and as comfortable as it could get. I mean, if Air Asia wasn't so stingy, we'd have bigger leg room but that would mean less passengers per airbus. But hey, it's not like Mr. Tony is my godfather or anything.

Upon landing, the pilot did announce that we'd have to wait for the seat belt sign to be turned off then we're allowed to stand and collect our bags from the overhead compartment. But no. Malaysians just can't wait. As soon as the plane stopped, everyone stood up. It's like as if the plane would take off to the next destination leaving them stranded in the plane. Since I was in the aisle seat, I kept seated causing my already-standing neighbours to flash me a smile masking the annoyance. I smiled back saying "aren't Malaysians so impatient? The seat belt sign is not even turned off", I pointed to the little sign above us. They smiled back, this time slightly embarrassed and sat down. People around me were still trying to reach their bags from the overhead compartment and to make matters worse, the door is still not opened. With to many people in the aisles and no room to move, these idiots are still attempting to reach out and flail their arms around like a drowning goose and after 3 or 4 tries, they give up. I tried so hard not to burst out laughing at their antics.

After 3 gruelling minutes, the door finally opened and the people in the aisle dashed out. It was like as if they were competing in Amazing Race or something. I took my sweet time getting out of my seat and out of the plane, pausing to thank the stewardesses.

As soon as my feet touched the ground, I started smiling. Smiling so wide my muscles actually ached after a while. With a spring in my step, I made my way to the immigrations department. The poor guy looked like he had a bad day. I walked up to him and smiled. "Good morning!" I greeted him and immediately he looked happier. With a few taps of the keyboard, he gave me back my IC and said "Welcome back to Kuching". He has no idea how much that made me feel.

Making my way to the baggage carousel, I felt light-headed. Partly because I slept at 1.30am and woke up at 5am and also because I was finally home. Taking a trolley from the bay, I set my laptop bag down and sat on the trolley. People were staring at me but I couldn't care less. A little girl saw me and she proceeded to sit down like I did. Upon claiming my luggage, I walked out of Kuching International Airport feeling like I was finally home.

Signing out,
now-everyone's-a-fly!

Ps: as I was sleeping in the plane, I had a dream. I dreamt of you with me in the plane. I finally had a dream after many dreamless sleep.

Famous Last Words

Preparing for Biology semester exam should have been a breeze. The drill was to read Campbell, read lecturer's notes, read Salters-Nuffield textbook, read Pearson textbook and do past year papers. But being the lazy ass I am, I:

1. read 3 pages of Campbell and got tired.
2. did not read Salter's

The only thing I can say I did [truthfully speaking] is that I read my lecturer's notes, read Pearson and did some past year questions.

Noticing a trend in our topic tests that they are usually past year questions, I decided to take the initiative to do random questions. While doing, I realised some questions are still using the old syllabus or old specifications. This was then confirmed by a friend whose friend [yea, it usually happens that way] saying that question sof this particular manner would not come out.

Famous last words: This won't come out wan. It's not in the specs (specifications).

Har-har-har.

Moral of the story? If you notice the trend of them setting past year questions, for the love of God and His creatures, do the blardi past years. Don't even bother to refer to the specifications.

But by all means, refer to the accursed specifications when it counts.

Signing out,
Lady-in-Spain

Joy To The Fishes In The Deep Blue Sea

My first exposure to an A-Level math paper brought back a lot of memories.

As I picked up my pen and started on the first few questions, I was immediately teleported back to the first time I set my eyes on an Additional Mathematics (or more affectionately known as Add Math paper) in Form 4.

I wouldn't say it was excruciatingly hard but all the while, I heard my voice at the back of my head. The one-sided conversation went a little like this:

"Hmmm.. A 'proving' question. Whoa, the equation is so long. I wonder if I could take this logarithm out and multiply..yes.. It works. Okay, proven."

*looks at clock*

"Oh dang", I cursed under my breath, just loud enough for my neighbour to glance at me. I flashed her a smile and picked up the pace for the next question.

"Sketch the graph of.. Oh crap, I forgot how to complete the square! Let me see.. Oh there, I got it. Phew. Now to draw the graph."

*glances at clock*

I winced internally as I read the next question. "Find the discriminant of.. Wait, what is a discriminant? A discriminating number? Why does that number discriminate other numbers? Is it racist? Not wait, numbers can't be racist. I know! It's a number-ist!" I did a little happy dance in my head because I made up a new term when my subconscious said "Why in heaven's gates and hell's flames are you rejoicing? Get back to work!"

"You have 10 more minutes."

"Oh dang I..wait, I'm comple.. DONE!" I smile triumphantly willing my exam paper to groan for I have defeated the evil monster of a paper, slayed it's many heads like Hercules did to the Hydra, the mythical creature (not the one in Biology) and in it's dying moments, bequeath its worldly possessions which includes a mansion and an Olympic-sized pool complete with a private jet and a tropical island somewhere in the Bahamas.

Then it all came to a screeching halt, with enough G-force to cause spontaneous abortion. "HOW IN THE WORLD DID I GET THIS EQUATION EFF-ED UP?!" *looks at clock* "Oh sweet mother Earth and gravity that holds everything in place, please please allocate me enough time to chan-" "Time's up! Stop writing."

Oh Sh_t.

Signing out,
screwed-up

Me And My Blind Optimism

The exam's are closing in and here I am with one tab on blogger.com, another on Facebook and the third on icanhascheezburger.com. Oh, I also signed into Skype and Msn Messenger. To add the icing on the 'fail cake', I'm also playing Freecell like as if my life depends on it. I shall call it Abs' Disorder!

Maybe it's my method of dealing with stress? I don't know. All I know is that I tend to do impractical and time-wasting things when I'm supposed to be doing something else. Bad habit. And I know it. They say the first step to breaking an addiction (let's just call this an addiction) is by admitting you have a problem. There, I said it. I have a problem. A gigantic one, if I may add.

That should settle it, right? WRONG! Next step is convincing my mind that everything is not okay. That should cause my mind to go into shock and I'd feel the sudden urge to go open my books and do some past year questions. D'arvit! My brain seems to have something like a shield. Hey, I must be Bella! But I digress. See, there's two sides in every human being. Some call it an alter ego. Whatever you call it, it is two separate individuals fighting for dominion. Okay, now it sounds like something out of Star Wars but you get the idea right? There are times I'm almost a nerd. I won't say a full-fledged nerd because it has never gone that far. And sometimes I'm a serial procrastinator. To me, there's always tomorrow. And to make it even better, I don't plan much. To me, planning for the future is what to have for dinner later. EVerything else is mostly spur of the moment. Hence the random questions and impulsive behaviour. Wait, I'm not impulsive. I think things through and that would make me, uh, not impulsive?

See, I'm contradicting myself. It's typical of a procrastinator and those suffering from this disorder to contradict themselves because remember, the two sides are still at war.

Okay, enough with the psychological analysis. I have to blame it on the psychologist in me. She annoys me sometimes. Hey, maybe next time I'll reveal the many sides of me here. So far, we've uncovered the nerd, the procrastinator and the psychologist and I'm sure there are others. I can't wait! :D

Signing out,
no-hay-problema

Amie

Truth be told, I have trouble sleeping nowadays. It's like reality just came crashing down forcing me to take a good look in the mirror (no, not the vanity mirror) and wonder "What is to become of me?"

For a second there I'm reminded of the movie 'My Fair Lady'. That is one of my all-time favorite movies and I never get tired of it. Songs like 'Wouldn't it be lovely?', 'With a little bit of luck', 'Just you wait' and 'On the street where you live' are just evergreen and I doubt I'll ever get tired of listening to them over and over again.

Notice the time this is posted? General insomnia is getting to me. Not a very nice feeling but I refuse to sleep early and getting up late is just fine. Why, Abigail? Why?

Repetition then reminds my of the book Artemis Fowl- Atlantis Complex. The protagonist now finds himself in a little more trouble than he ought to be. I mean, here Arty was, a criminal mastermind with a mental disorder. What a strange idea you have there, Mr Colfer. I've decided (against my will) to abandon that book for greener pastures. More like dead, dry grass with weeds chocking seedlings. Oh woe.

The title of this post is actually a song I recently discovered. Amie. It means friend in French. Sung by Damien Rice, this song has a very calming effect with what sounds like an orchestra of stringed instruments keeping me company as I write this. Knowing me, it's played on loop. I kid you not. It is played repetitively. Over and over again. It looks like I'm over Taylor Swift's album. But I doubt it. This is just another seasonal song.

Speaking of the seasons, I don't particularly like the weather here. It's hot and when it rains, it's like the rain clouds just decided to tease us poor, suffering inhabitants of Shah Alam. If anything, I blame global climate change. There was a time when Shah Alam was known for raining ever now and then. Now, the weather's so dry the dried leaves that fall to the ground have a nice crunchy sound when you step on them. *crunch* Yep, that's the sound of global warming alright.

Thinking about global warming and it's effects is actually very scary compared to when I thought about it a while ago. Maybe it's because of the sudden rise in the number of movies talking about the Apocalypse like 2012 and The Day After Tomorrow. Either way, National Geographic has her way of tugging at my heartstrings every time they show a particular animal species affected by global warming. And then there's the books. I really do appreciate it when authors come up with books that are not only interesting but they highlight things like world peace, climate change, ethnic cleansing among others. Maybe Stephanie Meyer could take a hint or two and produce something like that other than a lovestruck teenager and her irrational obsession of being immortal. I mean, that could probably give her back some dignity that she lost when Twilight was published. See, I'm not against Twilight. I'm against the values in Twilight. Under the 'teenage angst and romance' surface, there's just some things I don't agree on. We're looking at pedophilia, obsession, rage, and basically how Bella is portrayed as weak and how she needs Edward like she needs oxygen. When Edward leaves her, she goes looking for Jacob. Interesting, no? I mean that basically translates to being a (pardon the word) bitch.

I look back and marvel at my amazing abilities to jump from one topic to another. It's a gift :D

Signing out,
two-more-weeks-baybeh!

Bimbo-ed

I've always wante dto write a bimbo post. So, here goes nothing

The author may not be held responsible for any damage done to the eyes and brain and will not be held accountable if the world stops revolving in it's rightful path.


Oh, and it sounds better if you read it like a bimbo.

Anyway, so I've been like totally busy and stuff doing like studying and stuff. It's been really hectic and my schedule's like so messed-up. I looked at that thing, the one with dates on? Yea, the calender. Right. So I like looked at the calender and like OHEMGEE *squeals* the finals are like so near like. So I was like so freaked-out like and I felt so emo I like painted my nails black and like tried to look emo the whole day. But I couldn't cos like I'm naturally perky and fun and like yea, fun and stuff so it like so totally failed. Or maybe it's because I didn't put on the eyeliner?

Oh, OH! And my biatch made me so totally interested in reading this book. It's called like Jane Eyre (I'm very aware bimbos don't read Jane Eyre. Bear with me). I've only like read the first part cos like I said, I've been like totally swamped in preparing for like finals and stuff. So far, I've only like read the part where she's like constantly abused by her cousins and aunts. Like OMG, who would do that to their like relative? That's like so totally lame and stuff. Like totally. She stays with them cos she's like an orphan. Oh and by the way, orphan means no parents. Yea, I totally checked out the dictionary for the meaning. Like the words the use were like so big and stuff. Like 'solitary' and 'transitory' and 'harmony'. Like, what the heck is harmony?

I was like so totally into studying my Chemistry cos like Chemistry is really fun and stuff. You get to mix like this totally awesome liquids and they turn like this totally awesome colours, like. It's like really cool. So, this book I'm like studyin from, it's like super thick! It's 248 pages! Like OMG seriously. Like how am I supposed to read all of that?

Last night I slept like super early at like 3am. I was like partying the whole night with my biatches with this dude named George Facer, Campbell and Reece. They're like total party animals. But I had to leave early cos I was like really tired and stuff. Bummer. The party was just getting started :(

Oh, a text! Looks like dinner is going to be chicken. I'm a vegan. Is chicken like a vegetable?


Signing out,
i-tried

So what do you think? :D

Take A Bite Of My Heart Tonight

If you noticed, my title is usually parts of a song. They don't have anything to do with how I feel or even relevant to the post. So yea, don't jump into conclusions too fast :D

Completing Ethics exam is like a minor freedom to us. For some reason, we (including myself) felt like we were on top of the world when we submitted the paper. Believe me, writing 3 pages about Darwin's Theory is very annoying. Ardipithecus Raminus, Australopthiscus Afarensis, Australapithecus Africanus, Homo Habilis, Homo Erectus and lastly, Homo Sapiens. And I did not even consult my notes! That's how much it's ingrained in my brain. For some amazing reason, I read the brain capacity once and it was immediately tattooed in my brain. How I wished that happened for my Biology and Chemistry studying sessions.

Looking at my Chemistry test results actually broke my heart. Well, not really but realising I lost 5 marks just because I (the smart ass I am) wrote sea of delocalised free moving ions instead of electrons. Since when are ions electrons?!

However Biology was a shocker. Although our lecturer said gene therapy would not be tested, we should have known that I would come out, contributing 4 marks to the whole paper. Maybe the 'read once' thingy happened to me that day and I just wrote some random nonsense about a liposome and harmless virus. Guess what? 4 marks baby! Now, if only it'll work again in our upcoming exam. *crosses fingers*

I would definitely permit you to say "Waa, Abigail very rajin to update hor?". Well, I'm feeling rather bored and what does Abigail do when she's bored? She writes about her feelings. Not. I think maybe I just rediscovered the joys of talking about something others wouldn't understand since I'm usually very vague in my posts. It's exhilarating!

I've decided to divide my week (since it's the study leave) into 3 parts. No wait, make that 4. Day 1- Math. Day 2 and 3- Biology. Day 4 and 5- Chemistry and Day 6- Statistics. And there you have it, my study timetable. Oh dang, I forgot about English. Yes, as much of an ass I sound like now, this is the first time I will be studying for English. Ever. So, wish me luck as I read my Critical Thinking book and hopefully I don't fall asleep.

Signing out,
om-nom-nom-nom

Please Don't Be in Love With Someone Else

Two posts today!

I really love the song Enchanted and Haunted. I kid you not when I say I have it on loop on my player and it will be that way until I get bored of the song.

Anyway, I just completed my MINDS proposal and cover letter. I shouldn't be complaining or anything because all I did was just cut, copy and edit from the previous samples (which I'm sure the seniors did the same thing) but to get the new list of committee members, their student ID, contact number and editing the letter head is rather frustrating. On the bright side, I have practically every one's information in my pendrive. Yes, handphone number, e-mail, student ID, IC number and programme. And with this information, I shall rule the world. Muahahaha!

On a different note, I don't have classes tomorrow BUT I still have to go to college. This is the second time I don't have class on a Friday and I have to go to college. Ah, the things we do and sacrifice for our friends and for the greater good.

Oh, and you just wasted about 3 minutes of your precious time reading this filler post.

Signing out,
geniuses-unite!

Ps: I tried. It's up to you.
Pss: I understand why now

I Thought I Had You Figured Out

Being consistently surrounded by Taylor Swift friends *cough*freaks*cough*, I am very much influenced by them. I now have the complete Speak Now album in my laptop and I'm very much addicted to the song Back to December, Haunted (I prefer the acoustic version though) and Enchanted. The lyrics are just so qgurieqfbeqbfcjfbc!!! (speaking in gibberish because no words can actually describe how awesome the lyrics are)

Speaking of friends, my friends and I recorded a "music video", gossiped about Taylor Swift, gave each other Drag Queen names AND study Biology. No wait, we were discussing about Biology. Very enlightening indeed. I never thought genetics and gene therapy would be very interesting if not for "Humey", "Ligey" and other characters made up by another friends. Suddenly the word "probe" made more sense *sees the light*

Anyway, yesterday my laptop 'merajuk-ed'. It refused to turn on even though it worked fine the night before. So I did what any responsible adult would do. I called my dad :D He came back from work, picked up my laptop, went to get the warranty card, brought it to the repair centre and brought it back to me. All in about 3 hours or so.

Ethic Studies exam this Saturday. Wish me luck :D I may be very ethical (don't choke, it's true) but we need to know more than just being ethical but knowing about other religions, the purpose of life, where life comes from and other random questions we tend to ponder upon. Not. As much as I like learning about these things, I don't like sitting for an exam about something so subjective. I mean, isn't it up to a person's point of view? Even in Christianity, we have different schools of belief but in Ethics, we end up generalizing everything. I actually prefer to study Darwin's Theory compared to the creation of man based on different religions. Why? Simple. Darwinism is actually relatively easy to understand. Key words? Galapagos Island and finches. He basically proposed the idea that from simple organisms, they evolved to better organisms to adapt to their surroundings. It was another scientist that proposed that man evolved from apes. But somehow, Darwin is more popular that the other scientist. So popular, I don't even remember the other dude's name! That basically proves Darwin's popularity.

Finals are approaching and the library is actually quite full. Usually around this hour, it's quite deserted. But suddenly, every one's a nerd. Discussions flying around, books disappearing from the racks so quickly than the eye can catch and some random person throwing his/her notes in the air shouting "Ayeyai, me no comprendo!" Eh, wrong language. It's "Aiyoh, what does this lecturer's notes mean?!" Then there's the occasional student catching some Zs, be it head resting on the table, a makeshift bed out of chairs or even on the floor a-la homeless man. The library is now a safe haven, a refuge to soothe even the most freaked out student. I wonder if I actually meant that?

Blogging from college is actually very refreshing. Away from the sad environment of Akasial and horrible internet connection. It also gives one a new perspective. Maybe that is why my previous posts are all very dark and emo.

So, I shall leave you with a light note saying go listen to Taylor Swift's album, Speak Now and tell me your favorite song. A cookie for your thoughts :D


Signing out,
oh-noes, low battery

Dort gehen Sie macht mein Herz wieder zu schlagen

Have you ever tried admitting something?

It may be admitting you're wrong, admitting you're sorry, admitting you're in trouble, admitting you're hurt, admitting you're confused, admitting you don't understand.

It's hard isn't it?

However, the most overused word that I think has lost its importance is actually the words "I'm sorry".

Why?

Look at our own lives. We hit someone by accident or we accidentally take something that doesn't belong to us, we immediately blurt out "OMG, I'm so sorry". People take the words "I'm sorry" for granted. I know, I do it too. I'm not here to judge others but to point out my faults too.

To say the words "I'm sorry" when you know you've hurt someone is actually very hard to say. Even though in your heart, you feel remorse and an emotional turmoil and you know you have to apologise to someone, it's really hard to swallow our pride, go up to that particular person and say "I'm sorry I hurt you".

Instead, we take the easy way out.

We pretend everything is okay. We still smile and go on with life like nothing happened. You look at the person you've hurt and see they're still smiling at you. You instantly think "Hey, he/she didn't take my words seriously. We're cool now." Little do we know what's going on inside their minds.

Saying you're sorry doesn't make the pain go away. It doesn't turn back time and it most certainly does not make the scar vanish. It just makes the wound heal faster, scar less obvious and the pain go away.

I have a tendency of replaying my past conversations and I realise I've hurt many people through my words and actions. As much as I tell myself the words I say were unintentional or that I meant something else, that person must have been hurt.

I have plenty of regrets. Every time I replay a conversation, be in on MSN, through texts even face-to-face, I regret saying something or doing something that would inevitably hurt someone. I start thinking about how I could have made the conversation better, or how I should have said this instead of that. The worst part is that every single time, I let myself believe I did it subconsciously. Then when I finally realise the error of my ways, I fall. I fall so deep in my pit of despair and regret it takes me days to recover. People don't see this. In fact, once again I convince myself that putting on a mask would save everyone the trouble.

Admitting this is my way of dealing with this problem.

Signing out,
tasks-and-masks

Ps: This is not a random emo, teenage angst post. This is me dealing with my inner demons.

Season Greetings

*starts to panic, running around screaming "The Apocalypse is near!*

Yea, Finals are approaching. *dramatic sigh* Time to hit the books. But before that, update my poor baby. I should be charged by Social Security for neglecting my baby.

Jokes aside, time to get serious. No wait, when have I ever been serious? Okay, I'm am really at a lost as I have no idea how to start a simple blog post. The time has come where I know how to solve a complicated equation, set up a complicated experiment, complete a complicated Biology laboratory report, write a convincing essay about something that never existed and yet I can't think of a simple topic to talk about. Yes, the end is near.

On a lighter note, my friends have been kind enough to introduce me to nice songs as I am not one who goes in search of songs of any sort. So far, I've included Neon Trees and Sugarland into the list. Yay, more singing for me!

Just last night, I was online chatting with a close friend and we talked about the things we missed in Kuching and I realised I miss Kuching a lot even though I technically don't belong to Kuching.

It got me thinking, where on Earth am I from? It should be the easiest question to answer when one asks "So, where are you from?" Everytime someone asks me that question, I freeze. I'm unable to answer. Somehow, I manage to give them my million dollar smile, swallow and say "I'm from Kuching." Then I mentally smack myself on the head chastising myself "You're not from Kuching, you hobo! You're a nobody because you don't belong anywhere."

No, this is not an emo post. I'm just stating an obvious fact.

But don't worry, I love Kuching and consider it home no matter what the obvious is.

Signing out,
have-you-seen-the-lastest-Windows-Live-Messenger??

Achtung

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I am taking (or took) up the German language. Just for the fun of it, of course. Nothing major.

The sad thing is now that Frou Maria is pregnant and her OBGYN appointment is on Thursdays, we don't have regular classes. Even when we do have class, we watch German movies.

The first German movie we watched was a romantic comedy called Barfuss, which means barefoot. If you like romantic comedies but can't stand the typical American ending, then this is definitely the movie for you. I absolutely love the tag line which basically translates to 'How far will you go for love'? This movie has a good dose of humour and the lines are absolutely hilarious, one of a kind. Two thumbs up for my first German movie.

The second one we watched is called Die Welle- The Wave. This movie has a slightly darker theme as a high school teacher decides to make his students understand fascism and dictatorship by 'experimenting' on them. The question in the first lesson was "Are we really that gullible in succumbing to dictatorship like in the days of Hitler". All students said that they're modern and they should be able to discern between right and wrong. When the teacher made them subconsciously aware of working as a unit, the students jumped right in the bandwagon. At first the students, irrespective of nerds, jocks, the popular and the bottom of the social hierarchy stuck together through thick and thin. However, things started spiralling out of control. This is where I leave you hanging wondering what happened *evil laugh*. If you want to watch it, be prepared for character death and mentions of dictatorship.

The last movie we recently watched is called NAPOLA- National Political Academy- a high school that produces Nazi elite. Another Nazi themed movie set in the 1940s. The main male character in this movie also had the spotlight in Die Welle. He plays a young boy, Freidrich Wiemer, who gets into this elite high school with a boxing scholarship (not really, but it's easier to understand if I put it that way). To get into this school, one must fulfill certain criterion. Among them are blonde hair, blue eyes, tall and strong. Sounds like Hitler's dream of creating the Aria race, no? Over his father's objection, Friedrich runs away from home and enrolls in the school. The movie basically highlights the struggles all boys in that school to come up to par with the Nazi's expectations that they kill the Jews mercilessly, among other things. Some have been brainwashed to think that they're doing this for a greater good but Friedrich and his friend Albrecht(the son of the headmaster in the school) saw that this was wrong. After a tragedy involving Albrecht (no, I won't tell you what happened to him), Friedrich decides that he cannot stay in that school anymore and deliberately gets himself expelled. Another very dark movie with character death. However, this movie is rather slow-paced as I went out for about an hour, resumed the movie after that and I still managed to understand the movie.

The next movie Frou Maria said she'd bring for us to watch is about the German concentration camps and basically revolving around the gassing chambers. I hope it's The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas. I can't wait :D

Signing out,
oh-noes-the-weekend-is-over

Berries

The title has nothing to do with what this post is about. Typical me.

Anyhoo, I've been very busy. Doing what? you may ask. Well, 2 years in A-Levels is not a bed of roses. Yea we have 2 years which means that our course is stretched over a span of 24 months but we have all this nonsensical activities to supposedly 'fill our free time'. Now my question is, who said we even have free time to begin with?

The constant pressure to perform is overwhelming. The amount of topic tests, pop quiz, tutorials, past year papers not forgetting homework and assignments, everything under the sun, in fact.

This is just the surface. There's other things that our beloved college requires us to do. One of it is Ko-PLN. It's like extra curricular activities. Specially formulated for students going overseas, this activity really puts a toll on your sanity. Do they really think we have nothing else better to do on Wednesdays? The good news is that it's only for the first semester. Better news- the grand finale is on the 20th this month. A punch in the stomach- each group has to come up with a presentation. A shot through the heart- my group facilitator came up with the 'bright' idea to stage a musical. A slap across the face- I'm acting as a history teacher who moonlights as a witch.

This is my daily timetable. Wake up at 6.20am, whatnots and breakfast. Leave the place at 7.15am. Breakfast with the 'Nonjudgmental Breakfast Club'. Class at 8am. Break from 1-2pm. Continue class till 4pm. Stay back in library to study or do homework till 7pm. Take bus back, dinner, continue studying. Call it a day at 9.45pm. Go back to apartment, shower, laundry, continue with homework. Sleep at 12 or 1am. Cycle continues. Florence and the Machine got it wrong. The dog days are not gone. It's alive and well, thank you very much.

I'm supposed to be doing my Biology lab report now but I decided to take a break and do mindless activity- like Blogging and Facebooking. I'm pretty sure Facebook is now a verb.

If you must know, A-Levels Medicine (ALM) in college is full of drama. (By the way, realise I say 'college' instead of just putting the name of the college? This is because of safety reasons. My safety.) The drama I see can even put some soap operas to shame. If you're wondering if I'm part of the 'cast', rest assured that I'm merely a spectator. Guai kia, remember?

I was actually thinking of the time when I received my SPM results and when asked what are your future plans I said, "Marry a rich man".

It sounds like a very good option now.

Signing out,
is-hungry

Goodbye :(

Goodbye.
This would be my final blog post.
I won't be updating anymore.
I figured if I can't update constantly, then I shouldn't have a blog.
So, I'm going to stop posting updates about myself, my life, my experiences and my adventures.
However, I will keep this blog open.
Why?
Because it has links to your blogs.
Yea, I will continue reading your blog posts when you update.
Am I being selfish?
Well, not really. I update my Facebook status regularly. That should give you a good idea what I'm doing on a daily basis.
So, I'm going to end here.
Take care of the chatbox thingy. Don't swear, curse or advertise there.

Signing out (for the last time),
unicorns-and-rainbows

Ps: I'm just kidding. I'm not really going to stop updating. Just less updates. Did you really think I'm going to leave my baby?

Weekends..

Midnight Conversations

When the sun goes down, one tends to lose a little sanity. It would drive some to the point where fictional relationships are discussed.

It would usually go like this:
Maxine: *shows me epic Zutara hug picture*

It then leads on the why we don't support Harry/Hermy ships, why I don't ship Dramoine anymore and why I currently support Scorpius/Rose ship.

Before long, we start talking about Twilight and how it's one of the books with pairings I agree on. Let the two annoying idiots love each other, I don't care.

Suddenly, light bulb moment. You start to wonder about Nessie/Jake ship. Why did Jacob feel an attraction towards Bella all the freakin time? He obviously did not imprint on Bella but yet he couldn't keep away from her. Why?

Being a science student with limited knowledge in Biology, Maxine and I came up with some rather interesting theories and we managed to break the code. Or as Maxine put it, 'Break the egg'. 'Dots' moment. I know.

Go ahead. Read it. I know you want to :)

http://mcshcorporation.blogspot.com/2010/09/revelation.html

Click it. I know you want to.

Dang it, how do you put links?

Signing out,
awesome, i am

Raya Sales

Today is the second day of raya (Which reminds me, how many days does 'raya' actually have?) and I have yet to touch my math homework. If the pile could talk, I bet it would say "Stay away. I'm boring." Or is that just my subconscious mind personifying the said homework?

Questions aside, have you ever heard of an auction? Yes? Good. Now have you heard of a 'reverse auction'? Actually, I don't think that is the right term but we'll just have to make-do with a term I created.

A few days ago, my cousin brought me to some random 'pasar malam'. Why this specific night market? Well, it is where vendors of everything relevant to raya congregates to, well, auction off their products. Imagine, if you were to buy a packet of cookies from a supermarket for RM 10, be prepared to see that one can get 3 packets of the same cookies for RM 10. Yes, it's that cheap.

By midnight, the place is packed. That's when the "auction" starts. Lets take the florist for example. He presents a ridiculously large vase containing a ridiculous floral arrangement with random bananas and oranges spilling out. He starts of the auction shouting "RM 180 sahaja!" The crowd waits till he goes lower. The auctioneer bring the price lower. "RM 100!" Still no one. He sighs and says "Lowest price, RM 80!" A lady's hand shoots up. "SOLD!" The crowd applauds (I'm not sure who they're clapping for)The said woman rushes forward and flashes the crowd a triumphant smile. At that moment I think the one who should be 'flashing a triumphant smile' is the auctioneer. He managed to get rid of one VERY weird arrangement. He steps down, takes a swig of Tiger Beer (Oh, did I mention? The auctioneer is Chinese) and selects another hideous floral arrangement to auction.

That experience would definitely be classified under "Firsts and Lasts".

Signing out,
ooh, shiny

Whatchu reaching for, Mr. Flufflez?

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

The Ambiguous Case

I can't forget you when you're gone
You're like a song that goes around in my head
And how I regret, it's been so long
Oh, what went wrong? Could it be something I said?

Time, make it go faster or just rewind
To back when I'm wrapped in your arms

All afternoon long it's with me the same song
You left a light on inside me, my love
I can remember the way that it felt to be
Holding on to you

I can't forget you when you're gone
You're like a song that goes around in my head
And how I regret, it's been so long
Oh what went wrong? Could it be something I said?

Time, make it go faster or just decide
To come back to my happy heart


Random, emo song. Current seasonal song.

Don't Kill Daphne!

We conducted an experiment with Daphnias a few days ago. These things are fragile. And because of the fact they're fragile, they die so quickly there's no measure of how frustrated you'll get at the end of the day; trying to catch the stupid, (and I don't use that term lightly) nearly invisible, very small and transparent organisms. A friend of mine actually named them Daphne. Daphne 1, 2, 3 and so on. I have no idea how many he killed. My class had the exact same problem. My classmate was on the verge of insanity and when their group finally got their reading, he was practically screaming "Let me kill it!" The whole group had to hold him back while Jessica released the poor, innocent creature back into the beaker.

Those annoying creatures die at every single opportunity- too hot, too cold, wrong pH value, light from the microscope to bright, not enough water and many other random reasons. Thankfully our group only killed 2 daphnias. The first one died because the water that was containing the accursed creature dried up. We found that out the hard way when we finally located the ridiculously tiny heart that was no longer beating. The second one technically did not die. It was just too tiny so locating the heart would just be a pain the the everywhere. SO we just left it aside. I'm not entirely sure what finally happened to it but I don't really care. Another friend actually texted me saying "Don't let the daphnia you killed haunt you in your sleep." And to think that we just had the Ethic Studies test. Guess what was one of the questions? Name 2 out of 5 moral values in Buddhism (I think). One of them is actually not to kill any living creatures. Ah, the irony of things.

I've admitted my one of my deepest, darkest secret to a good friend of mine. The advice was self-censorship. Now to try that.

Signing out,
censorship board

Three Musketeers?

The title has nothing to do with what I'm about to say.
Well maybe it would make sense to some people (no wait, just one).
It's an inside joke.
Anyway, I finally got my broadband. Only problem is that too many people using it at the same time makes it undoubtedly slow. It is rather irritating but oh well, the things we do just to access Facebook since the opposite gender in my class refuse to let us (girls) in on their secret to accessing Facebook in class. Rawr.

That aside, college life is very different from what I imagined. No wait, correction. The specific college that I'm in is very different from what I imagined.

As of now, our goal set by JPA is to score a minimum of 12 points in each semester exam. All I have to do is to not burn out and study consistently.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this but these are the subjects I'm currently taking: Biology, Chemistry, Math and Statistics. My roommate is from Johor Baru and she's under the Malacca Manipal Medical College (I think, cos we just shorten the name to MMMC) which means she'll go straight to Manipal (India) for 2.5 years and then to Malacca to do clinical (I think). If you failed to catch it, she's doing Medicine. My housemates, one from JB and another from Ipoh. One's bound to Penang Medical College (Ireland first, Penang later) and she's doing Medicine too. The one from Ipoh is bound to Nottingham (the campus here then UK) doing Pharmacy. Then there's me, bound to IMU.

Yes I get along with my housemates. In fact, I think sometimes I bother them a lot with my singing and non-stop chatter. If they're bored, they never seem to look like they are. Either they're really good actresses or I really am entertaining.

This is a rather long post compared to all the others because when I wrote the others on borrowed time or by stealing wifi. Now that I have my own broadband, it's limited freedom. Kinda like trying a particularly active dog on a moderately long leash. Not a very good comparison but I think you get it, don't you?

I have a Biology report to complete, an English presentation outline to hand-in, a Biology presentation to prepare, an English Critical Thinking presentation to prepare and study fro Biology, Chemistry and Ethic Studies. I know you're thinking, why should I study for Ethics and so on. Let me tell you this, my lecturer has high expectations and we don't have proper notes. I have no idea what the format is and I am so doomed. Since I'm on the subject of doom and total annihilation, Chemistry has killer quizzes. I blanked looking at even the first question and the question was only two lines long. I dread to see the topical test. *shudder*

Oh I just realised, now that I have broadband, I can feast my eyes on cats once more!! (Visit the lolcats.com to share my joy).

Signing out,
cat-deprived

Greetings

I'm far too lazy to change the font size this time. Yes, you may rejoice. I permit you to. Anyway, greetings from Kolej Akasia, Shah Alam. Note: Kolej Akasia is the name of the apartment we're staying. Everything is fine, nothing to complain about. The main campus is ostentatious. Not joking.

Me, being me, I made friends. I mean friends that think on the same wavelength. Or something I like to call 'sama pala' (sama kepala).

We're starting classes tomorrow. (Oh, joy) I'm taking Biology, Chemistry, Math (which includes Statistics), English and Ethic Studies.

I'm currently using a friend's laptop and broadband to update. If you want constant updates, buy me a broadband thingamabob. If not, wait till next month when there's a PC Fair, kay?

Till then, toodles.

*air kisses*

iBuy Time

I don't want to leave. But then again, I want to.

I want to start studying again.
I don't want to leave Kuching.
I want to be in Shah Alam.
I don't want to be in Shah Alam.
I want to go shopping.
I don't want to wear baju kurung.
I want more shoes.
I don't have enough money for more shoes.
I want another bag.
I don't have enough money for another bag.
I want everything done.
Everything is not done.
Some things are done.
I like to gather my clothes to pack.
I don't like packing.
I can't wait to see my dad.
I can definitely wait to see my aunts, uncles and my grandmother.
I don't want to leave my bed.
I want to bring my bed and pillows along.
I want perfume (wait, where did that come from?)
I'm allergic to perfume.
I want to eat.
I'm not gaining weight.

Signing out,
walking contradiction

Breaking Dawn- Film Adaptation

I'm very sure everyone knows about the Twilight series. And I'm sure you know about the film adaptations and, like Harry Potter, all 4 books will make its way to cinemas near you. Anyway, I read somewhere that they wanted to split Breaking Dawn into 2 parts, making it somewhat like Deathly Hallows. Maxine says they (the brains behind Twilight) just wants to jump the bandwagon like HP.

Quoting Stephenie Meyer explaining the nature of splitting it into 2 movies was because, "The book is just so long!"

I beg to differ.

Let moi, Master of All Elements (now I'm just quoting A:TLA), break the book down for you.

Bella gets married and then goes off to Isle Esme for her honeymoon. The honeymoon is then cut short when Bella suspects she's pregnant (how is that possible?). Edward wants an abortion, Bella doesn't.

Jacob finds out Bella's pregnant. He leaves his pack and forms a new pack consisting of Seth and Leah Clearwater. Bella gives birth, loses lots of blood, Edward injects his venom to transform her into a vampire, she becomes and vampire. Oh, and Jake imprints on Renesmee, Bella's daughter.

Irina (another vampy) saw Renesmee in the woods and she alerts the Volturi. While the Volturi make their way to Forks (what took them so long?), the Cullens freak out and start looking for witnesses and Alice managed to find another 'speciment' like Renesmee. The Volturi surrender and everyone lived happily ever after.

THE END.

Now how is that long? How is that story line complicated?

I dunno. You tell me.

Signing out,
shiny Volvo

Looking Back

In the car on the way back from kampung, we saw an NS bus which belonged to KPP on the highway. Just looking at the bus reminded me of all kinds of funny conversations that we had in camp. Most of it wouldn't make much sense if I posted it up here because it's mostly Bidayuh and Iban jokes. But there is one that I can tell you. It's a conversation between me and my dorm mate from KL named Hui Xin. This happened when we sent those who came from Serian and Kuching back.

We're all waving, some crying (even the guys) and finally when the bus left, we walked back to the hall.

HX: *still crying*
Me: Don't cry. You'll see some of them in KL (cos some are going to study in KL).
HX: But *sniff* it's so long till I see them again.
Then she continues crying again.
She finally stops but still sniffling.
HX: *looks at me* I hungry liao.

My expression was more or less like 0.o??

Signing out,
cadbury, please?

Survival Skills 101

Wow, I must be very bored to actually come up with 2 blog posts a day. No wait, actually the first one doesn't count. Anyway, this post is about how to survive in National Service (NS).

No, I won't go over the fancy details about the history and what nots, but I will tell you (especially those that might get selected and might go) how to survive there.

1. Don't forget to breathe.
Yes. Very important rule. If you don't breathe, you won't survive. Got it? Good. If you must know, this is a joke. Just to lighten up the atmosphere =D

2. (Or rather 1, but who's counting? You are? Dang it!) Bring nail clipper
Very important. You don't want to have to nibble on your finger nails just to keep them short. A rather disgusting thing which might become an unsightly habit. A small but functional nail clipper would do. Always have it with you.

3. Use a purse.
Discard your Gucci wallet for a Lucci purse. Yes, a purse. The one with just one compartment. Make sure it's big enough for cards eg: IC, credit cards. That way, you always have cash with you, coins to make phone calls and you can keep your nail clipper inside! Genius, no?

4. Bring a small container.
Well, not too small. Just big enough to cook noodles in. Like Maggi, Mee Sedap, etc.. This would pretty much be your daily supper. But please, don't consume too much. You'll end up gaining weight. No wait, just fat. *shudders*

5. Chopsticks.
Yeah, they kinda confiscate metal spoons and forks. And unless you prefer using a plastic spoon that might leech out dangerous chemicals when in contact with hot water, use chopsticks. The little miracles, they are.

6. How to shine your boots.
I swear, we had a hard time learning how to do this. Asking the guys doesn't help much. Just be prepared to sacrifice a sock.

i. Put on the Kiwi thingy onto the boot with your finger (Make sure your nails are short before you do this). Why finger? That way you can feel how thick the paste should be. Not too thick and not too thin. Just as long as all surface of the boot (minus the cloth part) is covered with an even amount of paste.

ii. Leave to dry. Don't have to put it under the sun or anything. Just let it dry. Once it dries, it won't stain your finger when you touch it. I said touch, not rub. So just gently tap your finger onto the paste-covered boot to check.

iii. Have some water ready. Moist the sock a little and rub the sock onto the boot in circular motion. Don't bother rubbing it gently but as hard as you can. Use a different part of the sock from time to time. You'll see the boot starting to shine.

iv. If all else fails, call your teacher and she'll teach you.

7. How to do your bed.
They'll teach you the proper layout for your bed but to avoid a 'tsunami', prepare at least 6 safety pins. Averaged sized. After making your bed, pin the bedsheet and the bed together using the safety pins. That way, the bedsheet won't run away when you sleep, it will save time to do your bed in the morning and it'll avoid your bed getting a 'tsunami' if done properly. It would help if you iron your bedsheet to get rid of wrinkles to give the illusion of the bedsheet being taut.

8. Use contact lenses.
I'm not saying this is a must, but it will help those who use glasses. Especially in times like rafting, kayaking and sports like the obstacle course. At least your glasses are safe and you don't have to run around like a blind donkey.

9. Bring an alarm clock.
Since your phones will be surrendered back to the teachers on Sunday, you'll need alarm clocks to wake you up. Unless you're very lucky to have a friend you is an alarm clock, then bring your own. Chances are by the end of the day, you'll have to wake them up yourself (speaking from experience).

10. Sunblock.
Sunblock offers little or no protection when it comes to sunburn. Unless you have something along the lines of SPF 70 and above, be prepared to turn 2 shades (if you're lucky) darker on your face. However, lather sunblock generously to avoid sun damage to your skin. And no, sun damage is not getting darker. It's wrinkles in your mid-twenties.

11. Go with an open mind.
It'll save you lots of time. You may end up in the losing company but heck, that'll give you more chance to hate the winning team because if you're in the winning team, then everyone will hate you.

12. Bring something to entertain yourself.
Why? Because you'll be bored after dinner. I would suggest a Rubiks cube, books, Sudoku puzzle, crossword puzzle, word search or other things you may find entertaining. If you do own an MP3/MP4 player, bring it by all means. Use it wisely (not when someone's talking in front) and don't forget the charger.

13. Clothes.
DOn't bother packing much. You'll be using the clothes they give 90% of the time. Just bring your jammies and maybe a black shirt. It's the most universal colour that everyone would have in their suitcases and in case your team wants to do a choir or dance, you'll have identical coloured shirts.

I don't think I have any more to add. So I shall stop here. At survival trick number 13. Hmmm.. 13, eyh?

Signing out,
i-taunt-13

Ps: This guide is 100% useful if you're going to Kem Puncak Permai, Bau but only 85% useful if you're going to other camps.

Fillers

Yea, I'm just far too lazy to actually write something so I'll just put in this. Enjoy.

The Parallels

I 'graduated' from National Service last week. More like a few days ago but everything just seems so far away. Like one of those dreams where you can't decide whether or not its a nightmare or a sweet dream. I'm still pretty much undecided about my feelings about National Service. I may have A LOT to complain about NS, but generally, I think NS was just okay. Like, hmmm.. It's fine. Nothing to shout about. Besides, I think the camp I went to was pretty cool. I mean the Camp Commandant is rather lenient (compared to what I heard from other people about their camps)and what nots. However, my post is not about how "my camp is better than your camp" but to point out the parallels between KPP (Kem Puncak Permai. That's where I was) and HP (if you didn't get that, it stands for Harry Potter).

1. We have four companies.
Like in HP, we have four companies. Except theirs is called house and our companies are named after military style alphabets, Alpha, Bravo, Charlie and Delta. Whatever they're called, they function the same way. Take care of your company/house, be the best, beat the rest, yada yada. Dormitories are also separated according to companies. And so there you have it. Similarity number one.

2. We have a Great Hall.
Similar to HP, we have a Great Hall where we assemble every day, usually during meal times. The only difference is that Dumbledore does not wave is hands and food does not magically appear on our table. We have to line up, cafeteria style. Sitting position is also determined by your respective company. No one from another company is allowed to sit with someone else from a different company. In simple terms, sit with your company.

3. Similarities in terms of behaviour.
Before I proceed, I have to point out that each company is represented by a certain colour. Alpha- red, Bravo- blue, Charlie- yellow and Delta- green. I know what you're thinking. Alpha is Gryffindor and so one and so forth.

3 (a) But no, especially to Alpha. They wish they're as cool as Gryffindor. But seriously, no. They're the reincarnation of Salazar himself. *insert evil laugh here* They are hands down Slytherin. Why? Well, they are major drama kings and queens. Queens especially. They're head teacher is exactly like Snape. They don't take losses well and most of all, they're hated by every other company in camp. That point should have been my first point. Oh, and they value ambition, cunning and leadership. Sounds very much like Slytherin, no?

3 (b) Bravo, on the other hand, is the only right one- Ravenclaw. I'm not saying we're (yea, I'm in Bravo) smart/ genius. But we had our fair share of wins. I wish we could call ourselves Gryffindor cos well, we're the only ones that Alpha hates A LOT. But well, we have more similarities to Ravenclaw than to Gryffindor. Our flag is blue and we have an eagle on our flag. Ravenclaw much, no? Oh, and we tend to win competitions that doesn't require much strength, example ping pong, netball, etc.. We're not the brawns and NS doesn't put much emphasis on brains. So Ravenclaw we are.

3 (c) I have to award the most coveted house, Gryffindor, to Charlie. We're (Bravo) are very close to Charlie. Although their colour is yellow, they're so not the Hufflepuffs in KPP. Technically speaking, they're not much of Gryffindors because well, they're not hated by Alphas, they're not much of a competition against Alpha and other usual 'Gryffindor vs Slytherin' rivalry but they are very similar to Gryffindor house values- courage, bravery, loyalty, nerve and chivalry.

3 (d) Delta is pretty much the typical Hufflepuff. They almost never win and I'm not saying that their weak, but well, other companies seem to overshadow them. They're rather soft-spoken and they keep to themselves most of the times. Delta shows much hard work, tolerance, loyalty and fair play which makes them very much similar to Hufflepuff.

4. A Forbidden Forest.
Yea, we have a forest nearby. We had the Wirajaya there. Wirajaya is more or less like survival camp except our camp didn't have much time to have proper survival training and other nonsense, we had sorta like a party is the middle of nowhere, eating Maggi and leftover Gawai tidbits. It's forbidden alright, but there are instances where we use it, just like in HP. However, in HP there is a colony of Acromantulas, in KPP we have an abundance of mosquitoes in the forest. They're both technically insects =D

5. The presence of a "Hogwarts Express"
It's not a train, that's for sure. But we have buses. Awesome travel mode, I must say (note: sarcasm). Buses are used to transport trainees (us) to places eg: church, mosque, etc..

6. House Elves
They're definitely not servants or slaves. They just do things when no one's around. They clean the bathrooms and dormitories when we're not around. So we never see them work. Except that time when I was sick and I rested in the dorm, they came in to clean the room. The other difference is that they just sweep and mop the floors. The rest is our responsibility.

I think that's about it. I guess I should say that this is for Maxine who is an avid HP fan and she didn't get selected for NS. In her words "NS is like Hogwarts but with less cool aura". I have to agree with her. And yet, after writing all this, I still don't have an epiphany about NS, especially on the subject of liking it.

Signing out,
wants-more-$$

Ps: I have loads of stories about NS but none suitable to be posted online. Know what I mean?

The 'Big Guy Up There'.

So what exactly does God want me to do? I don't think he's sending me mixed messages. He doesn't do that, right?

See, I went through 2 interviews. Both of completely different pathways. One to do pharmacy under JPA and another to do teaching under Kementerian Pelajaran. Both are scholarship programmes where my parents would only have to come up with minimal expenses. During that time, I prayed telling God that although I do not know which one is His plan for me but I prayed that He would open the door to the one He wants me to do and close the one that is not right for me. I left everything into God's hands, putting my trust in Him that He knows and wants to give me the best in His plans.

Anyway, I received news about my JPA a few weeks ago and got the official letter last Saturday. I'll be doing GCE A-Level in International Education Centre (INTEC)in Shah Alam for 2 years then into International Medical University (IMU) for 4 years. So far, so good. I mean, Pharmacy. What I thought was best for me and what I gravitated towards.

And so this morning I received a text from Nadia saying the results for the Kursus Perguruan Lepas SPM (KPLSPM) is out. Before I could reply her, another text came in from 15888 saying "TAHNIAH". Okay, so that means I got the teaching thingy too. I came home and looked up in the MOE website. Lo and behold, they really have a dark sense of humour as to put me in a SJK school. And guess what? Not just any SJK school, an SJKT school. It instantly brought me back to the time the lecturers interviewed me. They asked if I could speak Tamil and I said no, but given the chance, I would definitely love to learn the language. I bet they kept it in mind and decide to make that decision as to when and where that certain chance would be.

So now my dilemma is that I asked God to 'take the wheel', to direct me to the path I should take. He didn't just close one door and open another. Nooo.. God opened both doors. I know I should be grateful because the interviewers found favour in me but why both? I know many would say keep JPA, drop KPLSPM but what if that is God's plan for me to teach?

I'm very confused at the moment. Pharmacy or teaching? Glamour or presents every 16th May (which happens to be a very significant date =P)

Help?

Signing out,
headache

My Teacher Wants ~

I just received a phone call from my teacher in NS camp. Her calling me is not the funny thing. Her request was funny. Allow me to try and put the conversation into words and into my blog *teehee*

*phone rings. Doesn't recognise number. Picks up*
Me: Hello. (It sounded more like a question at that time)
Voice: Hello Abigail. Selamat Hari Gawai *really cheerful, happy voice*
Me: Err..Selamat Hari Gawai.
Voice: Ni Cikgu Dini.
Me: Oh, cikgu.. Kenapa?
Teacher: Nak tanya, Abigail kat mana sekarang?
Me: Kat rumah (another statement-like-question)
Teacher: Oh.. Boleh tolong cikgu, tak?
Me: Tolong? Macam mana?
Teacher: Boleh tolong cikgu beli seluar dalam?
Me: ??!! Hah?! Err.. Yang macam mana?
Teacher: Yang macam Shirley (she's my dorm mate) punya. Dia kata dia beli kat Tabuan Jaya.
Me: Err.. Boleh kot. *dissolves into a fit of giggles*
Teacher: Ha.. Gelaklah.. Gelak..
Me: Tak de la.. Okay.
Teacher: Thank you, Abigail *can practically hear her laugh*
Me: Uh.. No problem.

Tell me, is that not the farni-est conversation ever?

Signing out,
MAYONNAISE!!!

She Has Nothing Else To Talk About

What else am I supposed to talk (read: rant) about?

You must think I have a lot of time and holidays to go home and blog about my life in camp. That's cos I'm lucky to come back or rather grab every single holiday as well as add some of my own.

Some asked why I didn't bail to go to Form 6. I guess I want to stay till the end. I hear the end is the best so why not?

I celebrated my birthday in camp. Not as fun but can anyone complain? My friends managed to go to Spring after church and they bought doughnuts from Big Apple. Cute, no?

I think I appeared on tv when some the Timbalan Menteri Pertahanan came to visit our camp. I was one of the escorts (or whatever they're called).

We had a Malam Citera Puisi (I think that's what its called). The guys were very sakai to see make-up they insisted we put make-up on them. The funny thing was every single one of the guys cried when we put on the eyeliner.

Before that, we had the obstacle course in the morning. Imagine, during the day we're like "Wirawati Sejati", mud covered and all but in the night, we're all dressed up for the red carpet. Or more like Datins.

I still can't say that NS is the best thing that ever happened to me. However, I'll let you know once I finish NS, kay?

Signing out,
I-is-Home

Wish You Could See Me

I love you, Grandma.
090319-090510
RIP

This is My Baldi

You're expecting an update about NS, aren't you? You're expecting me to rant about how much camp sucks, how dark I became, how awful food is, how morning exercise suck, how much I hate waking up at 4.30am just to proclaim my undying love for the country. I'm not complaining.

I go through each and everyday like a zombie. When they say "use full celoreng", I do it without questions. They say "use the baju kelas", I use the baju kelas without complaining about how hot it is.

I switched to full zombie mode after the second week I was in camp. Everything runs like clockwork. Schedule's are tight with no room to breathe. Sleep is secondary. Every waking moment is spent with mindless activities.

Every last bit of energy is spent trying to stay awake. If the government is trying to produce more productive citizens, they should try implementing afternoon naps. Do they not read reports and case studies done by researchers. No. They decided, "Let's deprive these kids of sleep and keep them up and running 18 hours a day".

I quite like classes because it's the only escape from the real world. We get to act like kids again, doing extremely lame and childish things. We learnt to juggle (with 3 balls, seriously), learnt to speak publicly, learnt positive body language. Then there's the lame part. Doing the stupid 'pemetaan visual', the lame 'creativity enhancer lessons', the even lamer group meetings (they get on my nerves).

If you would ask me how's life in camp, I'd say I feel rather indifferent. There's nothing uber cool about being in camp. We're taught to be punctual, disciplined, hard-working, courteous and whatnot. But are we going to carry it when we leave camp? Can 3 months make us different?

Signing out,
zombie-me

Ps: This is a rant post. If you feel that I have insulted you, please accept my sincere apologies as I have no intention of hurting anyone in writing this. This post is merely to show how I feel about National Service in my country. If you like NS, it's your opinion. I am still free to state my opinion.

Pss: If you're still confused as to where I stand (liking or hating NS), I have to say I'm feeling indifferent. It's not fun but neither is it boring. I may change my opinion later (towards liking or hating NS, we shall see) but that's in the future. As for now, I just want to enjoy my semester break.

*gigglesnort*

This is just pure WIN!


moar funny pictures

Argh, why it 'terpotong' at the side. Since I'm nice, it says "Dear America, since you unleashed upon us the horror that is Miley Cyrus, we have finally decided to return the favor. Love, Canada."

If you don't find that funny, you not my friend *merajuk*.

Signing out,

Ca-nae-dah (Russel Peter's style)

Meh..

Too sleepy to think of a title.
Anyway, it'll be the last night sleeping in my own bed. Haiz.. But I hope to be back next Saturday for an interview on the 4th of April (Sunday). I'm feeling rather indifferent. Maybe it's because I'm just too sleepy (again blame being sleepy).

For the record, my pail can fit in my suitcase. Together with my thingy to scoop water. Whazzat called again? Scoop? Anyway, no, the pail is not minute and no, the suitcase is not huge. I really feel that I over packed seeing that mum can actually bring stuff once every 2 weeks. I practically emptied my whole cupboard (minus dress, skirts and shorts) and yet managed to fit a whole pail in. I is genius. Muahaha. No wait, mum is genius. Muahaha. Therefore I am genius. *cue evil genius theme song*.

*yawns for the goodnessknowshowmany-eithtime* I really, really have to go sleep now.

Hmmmm.. I wonder who else is going to the Bau camp?

Signing out,
dreams-of-white-Christmas

Ps: If you do happen to come across any grammatical error in this post, dui bu qi. Wo mei you read through.

Pss: I 'graduated' Mandarin class last Friday. Muahaha!

The reason why I'm not a vegan

.............Cos they tell lies =DD

see more

Two different faces, Two different lives

Two faced.
Two sides.
Two stores.

One face tells you they care.
The other tells the world they don't.

One side said its okay and that they are there for you.
The other rolled their eyes and walks away.

One story is true.
One story is false...
But how do you know what story is what?

It's not perfect..

..but I like it!

I know I should have blogged about this earlier but I just came back from kampung this evening sporting battle scars. Oh yesh, mosquitoes: 5, Abigail: 0.

Anyway, many would know that SPM results came out and I would have to say sleepless nights are over (although I have to admit that I slept like a log the night before.. And previous nights..)and by God's grace and blessing, I can say that I liked what I saw.

The night before (or more specifically, during Mandarin class) was the most gruelling two hours ever. Knowing the good and bad news the night before, and sitting beside a very nervous person really put my patience to the test. coughnudgecough

After receiving a sting of text messages, one of my cousins just had to say "Well then, that's the end of your honeymoon years because after this, life begins". If you couldn't guess it, my expression was ---> =_=' and 0.0 Noooo!!!!

So much for being nearly 18, eyh? Cousin-from-other-side told me to start learning how to drink. Being the kuai one, I can say I dislike the taste of beer and wine. Next to try is liquor. Wish me luck =D

Jokes aside, I can honestly say that Peter Pan had the right idea of not wanting to grow up. I mean, seriously look, he can fly! But then again, I would not trade my learning experience in school for anything in the world.

I can only wonder what college life would be like. In the mean time, I shall spend 3 months (hopefully less) in National Service camp serving my country and 'being a model citizent'. Whoop-di-doo.

Signing out,
omg-a-unicorn!

Just had to say this

I just have to make sure everyone's clear about this. And that is I am not obsessed with A:TLA. Although I have my doubts with Dev Patel but I've come to terms that he'll play the role of Zuko well. I've thought about it and I have to say that Jesse McCartney would butcher the movie. Oh yeah, he would. So please, please Dev, don't murder one of the best cartoons ever aired. ktksbai.

On a different note, I am going to Kem Puncak Permai, Bau. That's the name of the NS camp I'm going to, if you didn't know that. I thank God that He gave me the camp I wanted in the first place. And if you don't remember, I wanted to go into the 1st batch. So, I guess God's plans are always higher than our own. So I should just accept it and go right? The thing that's holding me back is that I still haven't found anyone going to the same camp as I am. Ridiculous no? I mean it's like one of the closest camp to Kuching and so far, no one I know is going there. I only know two others going to a camp near Kuching but one's going to Sematan and the other Serian.

Don't give me the you-can-make-new-friends talk. I know that but don't you think that if you know at least someone, you won't feel so alone? Even if you don't really know that person before. It's just an unwritten law that governs the universe and makes the world go round.

I can't access the NS website today. I'm guessing too many people trying to see which camp they're getting. What annoys me most about government websites is that they have so many banners and whatnots that when there's a large amount of traffic going into the site, it just gives you a fatal error page. If it really was fatal, I would be dead in front of the computer. Or the government servants manning the site would be dead. Personally I prefer the latter. I value my life far too much.

I suddenly love the new earphones we bought last year for the lappy. That way I don't exactly have to hear whatever conversation that goes around the house. When you have relatives talking about things like their latest hospital escapades, these babies are the best. Muahaha..

I'm having weird dreams about my results but I better not say. Maybe I'll try find out what my dreams mean with the trusty search engine- Google. I wonder what it was like before Google.

Signing out,
yes-i-own-google-shaddup